You don't know me. Nobody in her circle does. But I remember her...
Lara was always in two places at once and yet firmly grounded.
Somehow, she would at once grasp the details of electromagnetics and
still be thinking of those mountains... the glint in her eye gave her
away... and her endless smile. Lara and I shared classes at Seattle
Central Community College in the early 90's. She would often regail
us with tails of her adventures. It was hard to understand,
sometimes, what she was doing in that classroom when she was so
enraptured by being out there... but when that smile would explode
across her face and the eyes would narrow and her love for the natural
world would nearly overtake her... well, it did overtake us... and we
understood, in a way at least. As much as she lived for sensation, I
believe there was also a part of her that needed and sought the purely
abstract ... It was part of the balance that gave her elegance and
grace. I haven't seen or talked to Lara for many years. And yet
somehow, learning of her loss touches me deeply. A fitting testimony
to her and her legacy... her immortality.
Chris Hivick
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
20 May: Tibetan Buddhist Ceremony for Lara
Location: Sakya Buddhist Monastery in Greenwood
Date: This Sunday May 20th
Time: 9:30AM
In honor of Lara’s many travels and explorations of different cultures, Chad and friends have chosen to honor her with a Buddhist ceremony. When we first started talking about doing this we thought that Lara would love the idea of such a unique ceremony. For many of us it may be our first experience with a Buddhist service, which is reminder of how Lara loved adventure and was always glad to try something new.
In traditional Buddhist beliefs the 4th Sunday after passing, which for Lara is May 20th, is a special time to honor the individual. A dedication of merit for her will be recited as part of the traditional Chenrezi practice. This is a prayer for loving kindness and compassion. We will also have a reading of the Aspiration of Samantabhadra, which is a prayer that increases the magnitude of our intent for the recipient. With the love we all have for Lara, it feels very appropriate that we would honor her with a Tibetan ceremony.
All is confirmed for Sunday's Buddhist service from 10:00-noon (we are encouraged to show up at 9:30). Chad will be bring a special photo of Lara. The service will be followed by a communal meal for all.
Please note there is no need to bring flowers or food, we will be making a small donation for the service. We hope to see you then.
Questions:
Anthippy Petras
206-323-7706
apetras(at)u.washington.edu
Directions:
Sakya Monastery of Tibetan Buddhism
108 NW 83rd Street Seattle, WA 98117
USA Tel: (206) 789-2573
Fax: (206) 789-3994
Monastery@Sakya.org
Sakya Monastery is located in the Greenwood neighborhood of Seattle. To get to Sakya Monastery, from Interstate 5 take the 85th Street Exit and go West. You will cross Aurora Avenue, then cross Greenwood Ave. N. At the second light after Greenwood Ave. N., make a left hand turn onto 1st Ave. NW. Go two blocks and Sakya Monastery is on your right at the intersection of 1st Ave. NW and NW 83rd St.
Date: This Sunday May 20th
Time: 9:30AM
In honor of Lara’s many travels and explorations of different cultures, Chad and friends have chosen to honor her with a Buddhist ceremony. When we first started talking about doing this we thought that Lara would love the idea of such a unique ceremony. For many of us it may be our first experience with a Buddhist service, which is reminder of how Lara loved adventure and was always glad to try something new.
In traditional Buddhist beliefs the 4th Sunday after passing, which for Lara is May 20th, is a special time to honor the individual. A dedication of merit for her will be recited as part of the traditional Chenrezi practice. This is a prayer for loving kindness and compassion. We will also have a reading of the Aspiration of Samantabhadra, which is a prayer that increases the magnitude of our intent for the recipient. With the love we all have for Lara, it feels very appropriate that we would honor her with a Tibetan ceremony.
All is confirmed for Sunday's Buddhist service from 10:00-noon (we are encouraged to show up at 9:30). Chad will be bring a special photo of Lara. The service will be followed by a communal meal for all.
Please note there is no need to bring flowers or food, we will be making a small donation for the service. We hope to see you then.
Questions:
Anthippy Petras
206-323-7706
apetras(at)u.washington.edu
Directions:
Sakya Monastery of Tibetan Buddhism
108 NW 83rd Street Seattle, WA 98117
USA Tel: (206) 789-2573
Fax: (206) 789-3994
Monastery@Sakya.org
Sakya Monastery is located in the Greenwood neighborhood of Seattle. To get to Sakya Monastery, from Interstate 5 take the 85th Street Exit and go West. You will cross Aurora Avenue, then cross Greenwood Ave. N. At the second light after Greenwood Ave. N., make a left hand turn onto 1st Ave. NW. Go two blocks and Sakya Monastery is on your right at the intersection of 1st Ave. NW and NW 83rd St.
"It’s Lara, not Laura!”
Only after scolding me a few times with her furrowed brow and scornful eye did I get her name correct. It was obvious that she believed that what’s in a name counts. How many times did we witness her correct the newly introduced…?
I feel privileged for being introduced, and making the cut, back in 1994. She was standing outside a classroom at Seattle central community college on Cap hill. I must have turned bright red when she came up to me and started a conversation, about climbing of all things! It must have been my ragged looking rucksack that tipped her off. Back then there was only one that did double duty for school as well as climbing. Lara could pull any introvert aside and open them up like a notebook. It was amazing. It turned out, from conversation, that she had just returned from some exotic locale south. Neat, I thought, and in classic Lara form she pulls this guy aside and says, “This is my friend Steve”. Lara was a connector. Lara could take many scattered communities and link them effortlessly. You see, invariably you would be standing around with her at the UW wall or the crags and she would have someone come to her and say “HEY Lara, its been so long, how are you…?!” To which she would reply, “Great! Say do you know my friend here so and so….” And so it went with Lara. It seemed like everyone I knew, knew her. Funny how that was.
In the short years I knew her, I came to appreciate the Lara that was the straight shooting, no BS side. One day she sauntered across the street with her punk rock face on and says, “what’s up with you and your down company… I mean come on man! Somebody has to start something around here!” It was great, and I can never forget it. Maybe it was her arrow-like ability to proceed forward in life, despite all hurdles, that made her seem taller and faster and more graceful. She always said what was true in her heart, which I think was inspirational to many of us who knew her well.
When you needed help or help finding help, she was there for her friends. She was deeply loved by all of us who know her, and was revered by those who knew of her and her talents. She was as special a person as you would ever hope to meet on the trail we all move along. I can only see Lara as the beauty and danger, the great juxtaposition in the mountains. It was as if the chaos and serenity of the hills were within her as well, all mixed up, yet in complete equilibrium.
Boy what a barn hoedown we had when Lara and Chad wed in 2000. Times were a-changing! It was around then when my then 1 year old daughter Emma, re-named them ChaCha and LaLa. As most of you may know, LaLa and ChaCha lived across the street from us. This was the union of two incredibly powerful individuals and it was here we witnessed them blossom. LaLa had arranged the rental for us, which at the time was a difficult thing to do in a bustling Seattle market with little coin. She knew we were in need of a house now that we had a little girl and Sockeya, the dog. Lara, knowing everyone everywhere, made it her personal mission to help us. Like all things for Lara, it was somehow magically within her power. She did more random good deeds than I know of, too numerous to count I’m sure. It was there I saw my two friends, of course with the supervision of Robert, tear apart Grandma’s house bit by bit and rebuild it into Lara’s dream home.
To say that we will miss our friend is too simple. The void that Lara leaves in the community and in the deepest places of our hearts is more powerful than any avalanche, bigger than any sea or mountain. One of the last acts of her seemingly endless generosity towards us was to give me the old windows from her house for my shop in Twisp. I look out at the North Cascades through them every day, and I think of you then my old friend. I think of the good times, which were many. And I think of the bad times, like Greedy biting me, which were thankfully few. I miss you terribly.
Tom Halpin, Twisp, WA 5.14.07
Lara & D ‘working’ at our wedding, 2001.
I feel privileged for being introduced, and making the cut, back in 1994. She was standing outside a classroom at Seattle central community college on Cap hill. I must have turned bright red when she came up to me and started a conversation, about climbing of all things! It must have been my ragged looking rucksack that tipped her off. Back then there was only one that did double duty for school as well as climbing. Lara could pull any introvert aside and open them up like a notebook. It was amazing. It turned out, from conversation, that she had just returned from some exotic locale south. Neat, I thought, and in classic Lara form she pulls this guy aside and says, “This is my friend Steve”. Lara was a connector. Lara could take many scattered communities and link them effortlessly. You see, invariably you would be standing around with her at the UW wall or the crags and she would have someone come to her and say “HEY Lara, its been so long, how are you…?!” To which she would reply, “Great! Say do you know my friend here so and so….” And so it went with Lara. It seemed like everyone I knew, knew her. Funny how that was.
In the short years I knew her, I came to appreciate the Lara that was the straight shooting, no BS side. One day she sauntered across the street with her punk rock face on and says, “what’s up with you and your down company… I mean come on man! Somebody has to start something around here!” It was great, and I can never forget it. Maybe it was her arrow-like ability to proceed forward in life, despite all hurdles, that made her seem taller and faster and more graceful. She always said what was true in her heart, which I think was inspirational to many of us who knew her well.
When you needed help or help finding help, she was there for her friends. She was deeply loved by all of us who know her, and was revered by those who knew of her and her talents. She was as special a person as you would ever hope to meet on the trail we all move along. I can only see Lara as the beauty and danger, the great juxtaposition in the mountains. It was as if the chaos and serenity of the hills were within her as well, all mixed up, yet in complete equilibrium.
Boy what a barn hoedown we had when Lara and Chad wed in 2000. Times were a-changing! It was around then when my then 1 year old daughter Emma, re-named them ChaCha and LaLa. As most of you may know, LaLa and ChaCha lived across the street from us. This was the union of two incredibly powerful individuals and it was here we witnessed them blossom. LaLa had arranged the rental for us, which at the time was a difficult thing to do in a bustling Seattle market with little coin. She knew we were in need of a house now that we had a little girl and Sockeya, the dog. Lara, knowing everyone everywhere, made it her personal mission to help us. Like all things for Lara, it was somehow magically within her power. She did more random good deeds than I know of, too numerous to count I’m sure. It was there I saw my two friends, of course with the supervision of Robert, tear apart Grandma’s house bit by bit and rebuild it into Lara’s dream home.
To say that we will miss our friend is too simple. The void that Lara leaves in the community and in the deepest places of our hearts is more powerful than any avalanche, bigger than any sea or mountain. One of the last acts of her seemingly endless generosity towards us was to give me the old windows from her house for my shop in Twisp. I look out at the North Cascades through them every day, and I think of you then my old friend. I think of the good times, which were many. And I think of the bad times, like Greedy biting me, which were thankfully few. I miss you terribly.
Tom Halpin, Twisp, WA 5.14.07
Lara & D ‘working’ at our wedding, 2001.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Small Gestures Speak Volumes
Chad
To honor Lara and celebrate your infinite unity, Josh and I have donated to both Lara’s memorial conservation grant with the American Alpine Club and shipped a half dozen care packages to Mozambique with a friend who works in non-profit international health to be gifted among the orphanage she is affiliated with. Envision wide smiles from gathered children, knowing that somewhere in the exchange Lara was a part of it from us.
We hope that these small gestures will speak volumes in her name.
You are in our thoughts. She is everywhere now and always with you.
Josh + Amy Dodson
To honor Lara and celebrate your infinite unity, Josh and I have donated to both Lara’s memorial conservation grant with the American Alpine Club and shipped a half dozen care packages to Mozambique with a friend who works in non-profit international health to be gifted among the orphanage she is affiliated with. Envision wide smiles from gathered children, knowing that somewhere in the exchange Lara was a part of it from us.
We hope that these small gestures will speak volumes in her name.
You are in our thoughts. She is everywhere now and always with you.
Josh + Amy Dodson
Goodbye, hello
This is the reading I did at the eulogy. Thanks to so many inspiring words from all of you.
Goodbye, hello…
Lara,
All I can do is smile…imagining YOUR smile. To have known you, and been known by you… under your wing for so long.
I’m not alone in this. Every day I read the stories…
Tales unroll, unfold, spill out. Words tumbling across, each one reinforcing your brightness, your realness, your ability to transcend circumstance and to shine on us all.
I can’t help but quote others, because there are so many… all sharing pieces of the same story… that is your existence.
----
I could read every word written on you… they all ring so true. Here are a few.
From others:
I feel as if she always belonged in the memory of my life somehow. Her engaging smile, her direct way of talking, the sureness of her presence wherever she happened to be were unforgettable traits…. Her determination was unparalleled.
-Rich Bennett
I will always remember the feeling I had when she would walk into the room. I would literally light up inside as I truly adored every fiber of her being: her intensity, her depth, her complexity.
-Jesse Sykes
I’m tempted to say "fearless," but that wouldn’t give her enough credit. More than anyone I know, she simply refused to let her life be defined by what she was afraid of. She rebelled against it, grabbed it by the throat. If you saw her scared, you could guess what her next obsession would be…. She never let fear of upsetting a comfortable rhythm stop her from pursuing her dreams, all of them, all at the same time. She was the freest person I’ve ever known… She lived her life by the dictate "why NOT do it?"
-Forrest Murphy
-"More today than yesterday, less than I will tomorrow"
-Mark Fluegel (song)
I learned from her, but that kind of self-possession you can’t learn – you’ve either got it or you don’t and she had it in spades.
-Paige Eagle
She inspired me to live my life as I want to, without letting other people (or myself) get in the way of my dreams, the way she lived her life.
-Crystal Raymond
You helped me break the bonds of place, of things, and I am better for it.You gave me something invaluable, perhaps without even knowing it: A sense of freedom. You were the free spirit and I was your student.
-Douglas Bothner
He asked if I remembered you. I thought that was funny. You’re a hard one to forget.
-Dave Allan
…Thats the kind of thing that happens when your sponsored by life itself and in my eyes Lara was
-Scott Wicklund
She would always make me feel like I was the smartest person around when in fact she was the brilliant one... She always made me feel like I meant the world to her and I’m sure I did, but so many people meant the world to Lara. She had cast her net wide and somehow managed to make time for everyone.
-Lauren Mollot
You showed me that the status quo was safe, and that safe was a closed window looking out.
-Douglas Bothner
-Get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
-Jeremy Littell
She burned brightly - for everyone that met her, their candles burned at both ends too, in just the most brilliant way.
-Jim Schumacher
"You always seemed just a little brighter and stronger after seeing Lara…”
-Alynne Bayard
Peanut butter jelly time
-Dan Aylward
She was classic, sophisticated and a downright burly girly who could do it all with the best of them in every aspect of her life.
-Lauren Mollot
She took me to my first Jackie Chan movie
- Sally Hyde
I know my children will grow up with stories of the legend of Lara as if she was some fairy queen or superhero, which is not far from the truth.
-Tracy Rekart
And yet that girl was so modest; she was never satisfied with what she had accomplished because there was always something more on the horizon that she was pursuing. She was full of life, kinetic, never an idle moment. Her incredible sense of will and discipline was unparalleled; constantly and relentlessly pushing herself beyond her limits.
-Lauren Mollot
----------------------------------------
...from me...
I remember you… the first to offer help, to be there… bad days and good. Shoeless, beautiful brown hands, tender and vulnerable, brilliant and strong. I remember you.
Off I go, your gracious ways tucked under my arm. Your encouraging nudges beside me. And your absolute faith in me…supporting me. You are never gone. Always everywhere… under the trees, around the corner, on the horizon.
...One final quote: (from Dave Allan)
now She is the dawn
The blossoming glow in the eastern sky.
Good morning sunshine,
It’s so good to see you again.
Goodbye, hello…
Lara,
All I can do is smile…imagining YOUR smile. To have known you, and been known by you… under your wing for so long.
I’m not alone in this. Every day I read the stories…
Tales unroll, unfold, spill out. Words tumbling across, each one reinforcing your brightness, your realness, your ability to transcend circumstance and to shine on us all.
I can’t help but quote others, because there are so many… all sharing pieces of the same story… that is your existence.
----
I could read every word written on you… they all ring so true. Here are a few.
From others:
I feel as if she always belonged in the memory of my life somehow. Her engaging smile, her direct way of talking, the sureness of her presence wherever she happened to be were unforgettable traits…. Her determination was unparalleled.
-Rich Bennett
I will always remember the feeling I had when she would walk into the room. I would literally light up inside as I truly adored every fiber of her being: her intensity, her depth, her complexity.
-Jesse Sykes
I’m tempted to say "fearless," but that wouldn’t give her enough credit. More than anyone I know, she simply refused to let her life be defined by what she was afraid of. She rebelled against it, grabbed it by the throat. If you saw her scared, you could guess what her next obsession would be…. She never let fear of upsetting a comfortable rhythm stop her from pursuing her dreams, all of them, all at the same time. She was the freest person I’ve ever known… She lived her life by the dictate "why NOT do it?"
-Forrest Murphy
-"More today than yesterday, less than I will tomorrow"
-Mark Fluegel (song)
I learned from her, but that kind of self-possession you can’t learn – you’ve either got it or you don’t and she had it in spades.
-Paige Eagle
She inspired me to live my life as I want to, without letting other people (or myself) get in the way of my dreams, the way she lived her life.
-Crystal Raymond
You helped me break the bonds of place, of things, and I am better for it.You gave me something invaluable, perhaps without even knowing it: A sense of freedom. You were the free spirit and I was your student.
-Douglas Bothner
He asked if I remembered you. I thought that was funny. You’re a hard one to forget.
-Dave Allan
…Thats the kind of thing that happens when your sponsored by life itself and in my eyes Lara was
-Scott Wicklund
She would always make me feel like I was the smartest person around when in fact she was the brilliant one... She always made me feel like I meant the world to her and I’m sure I did, but so many people meant the world to Lara. She had cast her net wide and somehow managed to make time for everyone.
-Lauren Mollot
You showed me that the status quo was safe, and that safe was a closed window looking out.
-Douglas Bothner
-Get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
-Jeremy Littell
She burned brightly - for everyone that met her, their candles burned at both ends too, in just the most brilliant way.
-Jim Schumacher
"You always seemed just a little brighter and stronger after seeing Lara…”
-Alynne Bayard
Peanut butter jelly time
-Dan Aylward
She was classic, sophisticated and a downright burly girly who could do it all with the best of them in every aspect of her life.
-Lauren Mollot
She took me to my first Jackie Chan movie
- Sally Hyde
I know my children will grow up with stories of the legend of Lara as if she was some fairy queen or superhero, which is not far from the truth.
-Tracy Rekart
And yet that girl was so modest; she was never satisfied with what she had accomplished because there was always something more on the horizon that she was pursuing. She was full of life, kinetic, never an idle moment. Her incredible sense of will and discipline was unparalleled; constantly and relentlessly pushing herself beyond her limits.
-Lauren Mollot
----------------------------------------
...from me...
I remember you… the first to offer help, to be there… bad days and good. Shoeless, beautiful brown hands, tender and vulnerable, brilliant and strong. I remember you.
Off I go, your gracious ways tucked under my arm. Your encouraging nudges beside me. And your absolute faith in me…supporting me. You are never gone. Always everywhere… under the trees, around the corner, on the horizon.
...One final quote: (from Dave Allan)
now She is the dawn
The blossoming glow in the eastern sky.
Good morning sunshine,
It’s so good to see you again.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Lara's elegant solutions
Lara was always very smart. From the moment I met her she was always perceptive, responsive, and challenging mentally. When I met Lara she was 14 and I was 18. That put us about equal in terms of poise and maturity, but I have no doubt that she was already smarter than I was. Many people have left posts than mention Lara's incredible intellect and her knack for innovative and elegant solutions to problems in her work, (forest fire research) and her hobby (mountain climbing). I don't know much about either of those things, but I remember that she always approached every problem in a smart, innovative way. In the early/mid 1980's when we were together we went to A LOT of concerts. Probably about 3 or 4 every month, on average. There were several good reasons for this: A) We had lots of free time and very little expenses, B) There were lots of bands touring then that we wanted to see, Tom Petty, ZZ Top, Aerosmith, Pat Methany, Moody Blues, Eric Clapton, Clash, Scorpions, Greatful Dead, Kinks, etc. and C) the average price for a ticket to a big headlining major act (like Tom Petty for example) was about $15 back then...so we saw EVERYTHING even halfway decent that came through town. Back in those great old glory days of concert-going there was a common thing called "Festival Seating". This basically meant that you bought a ticket to get in the building, and then it was up to you to get there early enough to grab a decent seat or duke it out on the open floor in front of the stage. Our present litigious society won't allow for this wonderful experience anymore and I feel for you young'uns that never got to partake of it. As previously stated Lara and I went to many many concerts and almost all of them were festival seating. It'll be no surprise to most of you that Lara wanted to be front and center at all of these concerts. For a while we either got to the show very early and staked our claim right in front of the stage, or we got there only a little early and duked it out with the crowd to muscle our way towards the front, which was always quite brutal. One day we were heading into the Coliseum (now Key Arena) a bit late for a show (Moody Blues, Nov. 20, 1983) and it was already packed on the floor. Lara wanted to be up front (as usual) but you couldn't just barge through people ahead of you that had established their "space" without ruffling some feathers. We were way back about 2/3 from the stage wondering what to do when suddenly Lara grabbed my hand and said "follow me". She then plunged into the crowd almost directly toward the side of the room. "Excuse me" she'd say with her oh-so-charming smile and cutie-pie face to the people she was cutting in front of whilst dragging me behind by the hand. Nobody minded because she was headed to the side and not forward to the stage. As soon as she got all the way to one side of the floor she'd turn around and head back accross, this time angling ever-so-slightly towards the stage. Back accross the crowded floor, 4 dozen smiling "excuse me's" and we're on the opposite side of the floor, but now 50 feet closer to the stage. We repeated this subtle zig-zag accross the crowd about 7 or 8 times until we were front and center without anyone realizing (until too late) that we were cutting in front of them. Brilliant! Simple. Elegant. She got what she wanted, without pissing anyone off, and it was easy. We repeated this blue-print at about 15 concerts afterwards and it never failed, we were front and center, two feet in front of the stage every time regardless of when we arrived. That first show in which we used Lara's new technique, the Moody Blues, had a little-known guitarist named "Stevie Ray Vaughan" opening, and thanks to Lara I was close enough to be able to touch his guitar pedals if I so desired... The girl was irrepressible, she was bold, savvy, charismatic, innovative, funny, smart, warm, energetic, and somehow blunt and diplomatic at the same time. She had style. And a lot of "moxie"... I just miss her so much, I don't think I'll ever get used to it. She visited me in a dream last night, maybe her way of saying goodbye. Goodbye Lara, thank you so much for everything...
Friday, May 11, 2007
Lara Kellogg Funeral
These are images from Lara's funeral, reception, and after party at Kasi and Andreas's. The song is the closest rendition I could find to the performance of "You Light Up My Life" during the service by soloist Gloria Hanson and accompanist Reed Terzian.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Eulogy for Lara. Read by Julie Foster at the Funeral
I feel privileged to be able to talk to all of you about Lara--about what she meant to me. Nothing I can say will convey what an amazing and complex, yet simple woman Lara was. Lara was well-loved and lived an amazing life even though it was way too short. Lara was a great friend; that would literally give you the shirt off of her back. I think everyone who knows her well would agree her passion was enjoying life. She was the kind of person that would make everyone laugh so hard that theyíd end up crying. Who could forget that laugh? As Roger wrote on the blog it was a half cackle/half laugh. Along with her smile, it was her trademark. I will never forget Lara's laugh or smile.
Whether it was the times we shared or the stories she told, being her friend was an adventure. I was fortunate to have called her friend for over 35 years. We met as toddlers and when we where young kids, we were inseparable. I have so many memories that there just isn't enough time to share them all with you. My stories may seem ordinary, but anyone knows that life with Lara was anything but ordinary. I knew Lara before Greedy & Chavez. There was Mishca & Chablis the family's dogs and Doggie; Lara's beloved stuffed dog that I kid you not was with her from (I think) birth until her backpack was stolen at age 19. (Update: Steve Hyde confirms that Lara was actually 25, not 19) Doggie went everywhere, just like her dogs do now and she slept with it from the day she got it until the day it was taken from her. Guna was forever trying to repair Doggie for Lara. Doggie became this decrepit stuffed animal that was so worn, ripped & lacked stuffing, it was just a shell of a thing, but if Lara loved you it was unconditional and to the end.
I knew her when her she had a huge collection of Bonne Bell Lip Smackers. Not the little ones, but the big ones and she had all of the best flavors. I knew her when she wore her hair like members of Aha & Flock of Seagulls as well as wearing typical 80's clothes, shoulder pads in jackets with tight cropped pants. It's true, there are pictures. I knew her when she went through her "Who" phase. She was in love with Roger Daltrey and spent a small fortune getting her hair cut & permed to look just like his. Lara was fashion conscious had her own great style.
I remember the fun we had and how we constantly pushed the limits and we got in to trouble a lot, but still had a great time. There was a vacant lot across the street from her house. Guna would constantly tell us to stay out of there; because we both had allergies, but did we listen? I remember one time we played in the grass, it was like 3ft tall and we crawled around like jungle animals, until our eyes literally swelled shut. And once when we were in grade school (1st or 2nd grade) we decided it would more fun to play all day. We never made it to school, we stopped at a church, ate our lunch and decided school must be over, so time to go home. Of course, an exasperated Guna was there to get us back to school. But our trip to Hawaii was our best adventure or misadventure; Guna, Lara and me (we were 12-13) and it was a typical Lara trip. Things didn't go as planned, but it always seemed to work out. We got bumped & ended up getting some money so we bought Candies shoes (explain: cross between Dr. Scholl's sandal and a stiletto heel). Here we were in Waikiki and were not wearing flip flops weíre wearing high heels all day until we had blisters and had to put band-aids on our feet. We also rented a paddle boat and spent about 6 hours paddling out to sea. I'm not sure if we got past the reef, but Guna sent the coast guard, Navy whoever to come find us and bring us back. As a consequence we got wicked sunburns, but only on the front & our shoulders because we weren't wearing shirts. Guna then tried to "cool" our burns by slathering us with Noxema. We lay on the beds in pain, but we didn't let it stop us from ordering Blue Hawaiis from the bar & trying to sneak into dance clubs at night. The drinking age was 18 & we seriously thought we were fooling the bartenders, but they had the last laugh. Guna got the bill for about $80 worth of virgin Blue Hawaiis. Lara was mischievous and being her friend was an adventure and an unforgettable ride.
I will remember spending the holidays with Lara, Chad, her brother and her parents and the stories she shared of her adventures. She shared with us her travels all over the world and we lived vicariously through her. Lara had an appreciation for people and cultures and she taught us about things we would never have known otherwise.
She is a part of our family. I love her like a sister. She loved my children and they love her. When they were together, I never knew who was having more fun. Whenever I saw Lara, she always asked about them. Corey remembers when she would come in her red/orange suburban with Greedy & Chavez in the back & take them to Easy Street to get CD's that, of course, I may or may not have liked. Stephanie was fortunate to create her own wonderful memories with Lara on trips to New York and Costa Rica. Which were also typical Lara misadventures, not unlike those Lara and I experienced. Stephanie was also a part of Lara and Chad's wedding. One of my very favorite memories of Lara was helping her pick out her wedding dress. Initially Lara had picked out this sweater and a skirt, which were pretty, but not really right for her. Stephanie and I convinced Lara to go to a few bridal stores just to "look". When she tried on the dress that she wore in her wedding, we all knew instantly that it was the one, she looked stunning. In typical Lara fashion, she was hesitant about asking her dad to buy it. I looked at her and said, "Are you kidding me? He is going to be hurt if you buy this yourself." There is nothing Robert wouldn't do for Lara.
Robert, her father, was a pillar of strength in her life. He instilled in her so much of the goodness the she embodied. Lara did her good deeds by stealth. She never advertised the fact that she helped so many people in so many different ways. She never talked about her numerous acts of kindness. Yet I believe that almost everyone here today has been at the receiving end of that kindness.
On the blog many of you wrote about Lara's ability to be direct and say what she felt. A trait she surely gained from her mother, Guna, along with Lara's love of taking along a camera to capture moments and memories. And, like sisters do, Lara may have teased Robert, Jr. growing up, but she loved him and worried about his future.
And finally when Lara talked about Chad and their life together, it was obvious how happy she was and how very much she loved him and how very much he loved her. I am happy that Lara found her soul mate and true love.
It is also very gratifying to see and know how many others will genuinely miss Lara. I'm not sure if she would have known that she was so popular, and that sheíd be missed so much. I think she might actually be surprised if she saw how many people have gathered here and online to mourn her. It says so much more about her, and her friendship and kindness, than mere words could ever convey.
I will miss her visits and long talks. I will miss her stories and her light. Good friends like Lara are a gift. The gift Lara was, she now leaves with us. She taught us that we should give of ourselves not only in deeds, but in spirit. She leaves us to remember that which is most importantóthat life is precious and meant to be enjoyed-and always with a smile.
She left a legacy of love and laughter that won't soon be forgotten and I will especially miss Lara's unconditional friendship and love. I love you Lara.
Julie Foster
Whether it was the times we shared or the stories she told, being her friend was an adventure. I was fortunate to have called her friend for over 35 years. We met as toddlers and when we where young kids, we were inseparable. I have so many memories that there just isn't enough time to share them all with you. My stories may seem ordinary, but anyone knows that life with Lara was anything but ordinary. I knew Lara before Greedy & Chavez. There was Mishca & Chablis the family's dogs and Doggie; Lara's beloved stuffed dog that I kid you not was with her from (I think) birth until her backpack was stolen at age 19. (Update: Steve Hyde confirms that Lara was actually 25, not 19) Doggie went everywhere, just like her dogs do now and she slept with it from the day she got it until the day it was taken from her. Guna was forever trying to repair Doggie for Lara. Doggie became this decrepit stuffed animal that was so worn, ripped & lacked stuffing, it was just a shell of a thing, but if Lara loved you it was unconditional and to the end.
I knew her when her she had a huge collection of Bonne Bell Lip Smackers. Not the little ones, but the big ones and she had all of the best flavors. I knew her when she wore her hair like members of Aha & Flock of Seagulls as well as wearing typical 80's clothes, shoulder pads in jackets with tight cropped pants. It's true, there are pictures. I knew her when she went through her "Who" phase. She was in love with Roger Daltrey and spent a small fortune getting her hair cut & permed to look just like his. Lara was fashion conscious had her own great style.
I remember the fun we had and how we constantly pushed the limits and we got in to trouble a lot, but still had a great time. There was a vacant lot across the street from her house. Guna would constantly tell us to stay out of there; because we both had allergies, but did we listen? I remember one time we played in the grass, it was like 3ft tall and we crawled around like jungle animals, until our eyes literally swelled shut. And once when we were in grade school (1st or 2nd grade) we decided it would more fun to play all day. We never made it to school, we stopped at a church, ate our lunch and decided school must be over, so time to go home. Of course, an exasperated Guna was there to get us back to school. But our trip to Hawaii was our best adventure or misadventure; Guna, Lara and me (we were 12-13) and it was a typical Lara trip. Things didn't go as planned, but it always seemed to work out. We got bumped & ended up getting some money so we bought Candies shoes (explain: cross between Dr. Scholl's sandal and a stiletto heel). Here we were in Waikiki and were not wearing flip flops weíre wearing high heels all day until we had blisters and had to put band-aids on our feet. We also rented a paddle boat and spent about 6 hours paddling out to sea. I'm not sure if we got past the reef, but Guna sent the coast guard, Navy whoever to come find us and bring us back. As a consequence we got wicked sunburns, but only on the front & our shoulders because we weren't wearing shirts. Guna then tried to "cool" our burns by slathering us with Noxema. We lay on the beds in pain, but we didn't let it stop us from ordering Blue Hawaiis from the bar & trying to sneak into dance clubs at night. The drinking age was 18 & we seriously thought we were fooling the bartenders, but they had the last laugh. Guna got the bill for about $80 worth of virgin Blue Hawaiis. Lara was mischievous and being her friend was an adventure and an unforgettable ride.
I will remember spending the holidays with Lara, Chad, her brother and her parents and the stories she shared of her adventures. She shared with us her travels all over the world and we lived vicariously through her. Lara had an appreciation for people and cultures and she taught us about things we would never have known otherwise.
She is a part of our family. I love her like a sister. She loved my children and they love her. When they were together, I never knew who was having more fun. Whenever I saw Lara, she always asked about them. Corey remembers when she would come in her red/orange suburban with Greedy & Chavez in the back & take them to Easy Street to get CD's that, of course, I may or may not have liked. Stephanie was fortunate to create her own wonderful memories with Lara on trips to New York and Costa Rica. Which were also typical Lara misadventures, not unlike those Lara and I experienced. Stephanie was also a part of Lara and Chad's wedding. One of my very favorite memories of Lara was helping her pick out her wedding dress. Initially Lara had picked out this sweater and a skirt, which were pretty, but not really right for her. Stephanie and I convinced Lara to go to a few bridal stores just to "look". When she tried on the dress that she wore in her wedding, we all knew instantly that it was the one, she looked stunning. In typical Lara fashion, she was hesitant about asking her dad to buy it. I looked at her and said, "Are you kidding me? He is going to be hurt if you buy this yourself." There is nothing Robert wouldn't do for Lara.
Robert, her father, was a pillar of strength in her life. He instilled in her so much of the goodness the she embodied. Lara did her good deeds by stealth. She never advertised the fact that she helped so many people in so many different ways. She never talked about her numerous acts of kindness. Yet I believe that almost everyone here today has been at the receiving end of that kindness.
On the blog many of you wrote about Lara's ability to be direct and say what she felt. A trait she surely gained from her mother, Guna, along with Lara's love of taking along a camera to capture moments and memories. And, like sisters do, Lara may have teased Robert, Jr. growing up, but she loved him and worried about his future.
And finally when Lara talked about Chad and their life together, it was obvious how happy she was and how very much she loved him and how very much he loved her. I am happy that Lara found her soul mate and true love.
It is also very gratifying to see and know how many others will genuinely miss Lara. I'm not sure if she would have known that she was so popular, and that sheíd be missed so much. I think she might actually be surprised if she saw how many people have gathered here and online to mourn her. It says so much more about her, and her friendship and kindness, than mere words could ever convey.
I will miss her visits and long talks. I will miss her stories and her light. Good friends like Lara are a gift. The gift Lara was, she now leaves with us. She taught us that we should give of ourselves not only in deeds, but in spirit. She leaves us to remember that which is most importantóthat life is precious and meant to be enjoyed-and always with a smile.
She left a legacy of love and laughter that won't soon be forgotten and I will especially miss Lara's unconditional friendship and love. I love you Lara.
Julie Foster
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Remembrance Slideshow
This is a more produced version of the looping slideshow at the reception following Lara's funeral on 5 May, 2007. Duration: 7min 20sec.
Images were submitted by Lara's friends and family; they were compiled in a somewhat chronological fashion though my familiarity with the who's who of Lara's life is limited to the more recent years. Music was a compromise of my tastes, what I knew of Lara's, the numerous suggestions I received, and what I felt would satisfy a broad audience.
The final images are of Lara's last day. The last image is of "Lara Shan," a first ascent by Chad Kellogg, Joe Puryear, and Jay Janousek. Named for Lara.
These images, this slideshow, and the funeral images will be available on CD soon-ish. I will make copies for a select few who I will list and, like the phone tree, they can be copied and distributed.
Thanks,
Tim Matsui
"Doggie" tales
During her excellent eulogy at the memorial service Lara's childhood friend Julie mentioned something I hadn't thought about for a long time. What she said made me chuckle a moment incongruously as tears were streaming down my cheeks. She briefly touched on young Lara's obsession with "Doggie". I never met Doggie when he was 3-dimensional. The Doggie I knew was a faded, gray, well worn and frayed piece of thin cloth with a button sewn on it. That was his remaining eye. Apparently Lara had had this (once) stuffed creature since she was a baby or toddler and I don't think she EVER intended to part with it. She could bear to leave Doggie home for a brief excursion like a concert or movie, but if you were going to go any real distance Doggie HAD to come along. Occasionally Lara's Mum would kidnap Doggie long enough to throw the mangy fabric in the washing machine which would put Lara into an anxiety attack ala Linus Van Pelt minus his blanket. In July of '83 Lara and I went on an epic low-budget 3 week roadtrip to California. We rocketed non-stop down I-5 which took 22 hours and left me with a horrific sunburn on my left arm. (no A/C) The plan was to do the L.A./Disneyland/beach thing for a while and then a leisurely drive up the coast of California and Oregon for two weeks. Everything was going fine as we pulled into San Francisco on our way back north. We checked into a cheap-ish motel near Lombard Street and got rested up for the next day of sight seeing. We hit the town the way teenagers with little cash and lots of time do. A lot of looking, not much spending, but it didn't matter, we were having a blast checking out used record stores and junk shops full of curiosities. After hours out and about in the city we returned to find that the maids had cleaned the room. Hmmm....something is not right.... Oh my GOD! Doggie had been left in the bed! Where was he?? In a flash Lara tore the bed clothes off and threw them around in a futile attempt to dislodge Doggie. She fell to the floor, looking under the bed, the nightstand and dresser...no Doggie. The Panic was setting in. As Lara sprinted off to the Manager's office I was already pondering how on Earth we were going to be able to explain what we were looking for? How could we convey the urgency its return? Added to our problem was the fact that our Motel was owned by Chinese that knew just enough English to navigate normal motel business and no more. Even if we could get the staff to understand our crisis how are they going to find this roughly 5 inch square piece of threadbare material amongst 6 industrial size washers crammed with 1000's of square feet of sheets, towels, pillowcases and such? Well, of course they couldn't, and they said so. Not good enough for Lara, she demanded to be taken to the Laundry room. The Manager wouldn't allow it but went back for another look (I'm sure he just thought we were insane by now). 5 minutes later "so sorry". That did it, Lara just barged right past him and started tearing through the bins of laundry like the Tasmanian Devil, and I dutifully followed though I was certain that Doggie would never be seen again. The motel mangager was protesting loudly for a moment but suddenly he stopped and stared at us with his hands on his hips, watching Lara plow through the endless whites completely absorbed in the rescue attempt. It was clear. Lara was not leaving without Doggie. Not if she had to spend a week in that laundry room. The manager could see it. He said something in Chinese over his shoulder and soon our search was joined by the whole motel staff. 30 minutes later an older Chinese woman approached us holding a mangy rag of limp thin cloth. She must have wondered at the crying girl jumping for joy over the return of this....thing. We grabbed our stuff, paid our bill and got out of there and they just stared at us the whole time, completely baffeled. Lara loved that Doggie, and if she loved you, she would never, ever give up on you.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
I think I'll read it again....
Steve Hyde, Seattle
May 8th, 2007
Nice quote Pat. The girl was certainly a "Bodhisattva": a woman with compassionate determination to aid all the beings around her to their highest state of development. This being a central theme in his writing, Jack Kerouac certainly would have taken note of this quality had he had a chance to know Lara.
When Lara was living in a house boat in Sausalito and I was in Seattle, I went to one of Allen Ginsberg's readings in Seattle shortly before he died. After the reading, several of us Seattlites went to the Crocodile cafe for informal conversation with Ginsberg, but it was impossible to talk to him for the crowds so I sat at the bar and wrote Lara a letter instead. After she got my letter, she went to City Lights Books at North Beach and sent me a copy of Allen Ginsberg's epic poem "Howl". Here is a photograph of her hand on the inside cover:
May 8th, 2007
Nice quote Pat. The girl was certainly a "Bodhisattva": a woman with compassionate determination to aid all the beings around her to their highest state of development. This being a central theme in his writing, Jack Kerouac certainly would have taken note of this quality had he had a chance to know Lara.
When Lara was living in a house boat in Sausalito and I was in Seattle, I went to one of Allen Ginsberg's readings in Seattle shortly before he died. After the reading, several of us Seattlites went to the Crocodile cafe for informal conversation with Ginsberg, but it was impossible to talk to him for the crowds so I sat at the bar and wrote Lara a letter instead. After she got my letter, she went to City Lights Books at North Beach and sent me a copy of Allen Ginsberg's epic poem "Howl". Here is a photograph of her hand on the inside cover:
And everybody went 'Awww!'
The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" -- Jack Kerouac, On the RoadI think ol' Jack would have liked Lara. And had she been his friend, she never would have let him slide into the alcoholic funk of his final years. She would have called him up daily and said, "Hey Jack, you fat ass, get yer running shoes on, dude, I'm comin' over!" For all the times you did that for me, Lara, many thanks. Happy Birthday. -- Pat
Monday, May 7, 2007
We're the Lucky Ones
The service took place so beautifully--thank you everyone for that. Today I finally reached Eric on the north side of Everest-he was speechless Lara, as we knew he would be. He will be home soon, and so will Mark. We will all gather again to remember you. As the gravity of our loss continues to grow, our memories continue to strengthen through each other.
Some number of bleary days after Forrest woke me in the middle of the night with that dreadful phone call, I was walking through the city. I could feel a drizzle on the back of my neck, but my mind was fixed on the concrete in front of my shoes, dwelling on how fucked the whole thing was. A surge of your energy took me entirely by surprise. That same energy that we all felt, each time, all jacked on coffee, we rallied at the goodwill and piled into your car for a day of scraping around the Alpental valley. It was that same beautiful intensity that marked every interaction I had with you.
I lifted my eyes from the street, picked up my pace and grinned for the first time in days. Lara, I thought, You're teaching me something again. You're teaching me something about what it means to be a person. What you, Lara-Karena, are. You extend so far beyond your already overflowing physical embodiment. Your immediacy may have passed, but your presence has forever permeated our world in so many thousands of ways and places. Trout Creek will always ring with your laugh, and Second Ave will always carry the blur of your bike stealing all the yellow lights. But more so Lara, you're in all of us. We all live with more energy, closer to our passions and our ideals; we're better people because of you. The inspiration you've left us is infinite and immortal. You'll never be gone Lara; you live right here within us and our beautiful world that you love and protect so elegantly.
Happy Birthday Lara, thanks for everything--we love you!
dylan
Some number of bleary days after Forrest woke me in the middle of the night with that dreadful phone call, I was walking through the city. I could feel a drizzle on the back of my neck, but my mind was fixed on the concrete in front of my shoes, dwelling on how fucked the whole thing was. A surge of your energy took me entirely by surprise. That same energy that we all felt, each time, all jacked on coffee, we rallied at the goodwill and piled into your car for a day of scraping around the Alpental valley. It was that same beautiful intensity that marked every interaction I had with you.
I lifted my eyes from the street, picked up my pace and grinned for the first time in days. Lara, I thought, You're teaching me something again. You're teaching me something about what it means to be a person. What you, Lara-Karena, are. You extend so far beyond your already overflowing physical embodiment. Your immediacy may have passed, but your presence has forever permeated our world in so many thousands of ways and places. Trout Creek will always ring with your laugh, and Second Ave will always carry the blur of your bike stealing all the yellow lights. But more so Lara, you're in all of us. We all live with more energy, closer to our passions and our ideals; we're better people because of you. The inspiration you've left us is infinite and immortal. You'll never be gone Lara; you live right here within us and our beautiful world that you love and protect so elegantly.
Happy Birthday Lara, thanks for everything--we love you!
dylan
The Long and Winding Road
I couldn't let this day go by without writing to you Lara. It seems I mark my days with thoughts of you. You are the last image on my mind as I drift off to sleep and the first conscious thought that appears as I wake. The day is punctuated with your memory, even the simplest of things we both enjoyed make me remember: a glass of white wine or those cool "Rocket Dog" clogs.
The only productive things I've been able to accomplish these last two weeks also ironically remind me of you. The completion of my garden. Tending and planting beautiful things offered some solace. You would have been the first person I called to come see it. You would have been delighted in this garden of mine. Then, the acceptance of my article to the journal, "Restoration Ecology". I would have emailed you right away to give you the news and you would have delighted in this too. Lara it seems you are on my mind in everything I do. Every time I turn around, there you are again. I didn't' realize how many ways you had penetrated my world.
You were to arrive home from Alaska yesterday May 6th, the day before your birthday. I was super psyched for you to come home so you could catch me up on your latest set of adventures and mischief. And I could have calmed your nerves about things that were weighing heavy on your mind in the weeks prior to your trip. As always, you had way too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it. You called me crying the morning you left for Alaska. And you said, "I need help". I was lucky to be there when you needed it. And upon your return we had plans to meet straight away, you would have looked to me for the update and I would have proudly reported "no worries girlfriend". And then you would have given me that kick ass smile and a big huge hug and I would have felt on top of the world. But this story didn't' end that way.
Today, May 7th, is your birthday and of course you are on my mind. Tonight we will gather at the house, the house you shared with your beloved Chad, the house where your grandma lived. We will circle up the wagons around the ones dearest to you: Chadcito, the "old man" and Lippy too. The old man said, "we're not gonna just stand around crying all night are we?" Of course that gave me a good laugh. I'm sure you would have agreed with your dad on that one. "Enough fussing people, have some fun". So at the old man's request, and in honor of you we'll make sure to have a good time and share some laughs. I'll be sure to supply a bottle of white wine for your dad, a riesling b/c we know he prefers it sweet over dry. And we will of course giggle when Chad fires up the old bbq and busts out his little grill timer so he can be sure things are grilled to utter perfection. Chad will of course proudly tell us for the millionth time that he can set that thing to time up to 4 things at once. That timer shtick chad has going has always been good for a laugh hey? And Chad's freshly baked cookies are of course in order. Out of nowhere Chadcito will unveil the fancy shmancy mixer out of it's own custom built appliance cabinet designed especially for this purpose. The magical mixer cabinet devoted solely to the famous home baked cookies is always a crowd pleaser. And of course, there will be no lack of scratching and hugging for Chavez tonight. So you see girl, not to worry we will take care of your boys both tonight and beyond.
On this day, May 7th, 1970 the Beatles released their last single as a group, "The Long & Winding Road". This song marks the end of greatness, the breakup of a revolutionary group in music history. The lyrics speak to love lost but not forgotten. It seemed to resonate with me as a way of honoring you on this day of your birth. I leave these lyrics with you my friend. Love you always ~ Lauren
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
leads me to your door.
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here?
Let me know the way.
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried.
But still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago (ohhh)
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
The Long and Winding Road ~
The Beatles, May 7th, 1970
The only productive things I've been able to accomplish these last two weeks also ironically remind me of you. The completion of my garden. Tending and planting beautiful things offered some solace. You would have been the first person I called to come see it. You would have been delighted in this garden of mine. Then, the acceptance of my article to the journal, "Restoration Ecology". I would have emailed you right away to give you the news and you would have delighted in this too. Lara it seems you are on my mind in everything I do. Every time I turn around, there you are again. I didn't' realize how many ways you had penetrated my world.
You were to arrive home from Alaska yesterday May 6th, the day before your birthday. I was super psyched for you to come home so you could catch me up on your latest set of adventures and mischief. And I could have calmed your nerves about things that were weighing heavy on your mind in the weeks prior to your trip. As always, you had way too much to do and not nearly enough time to do it. You called me crying the morning you left for Alaska. And you said, "I need help". I was lucky to be there when you needed it. And upon your return we had plans to meet straight away, you would have looked to me for the update and I would have proudly reported "no worries girlfriend". And then you would have given me that kick ass smile and a big huge hug and I would have felt on top of the world. But this story didn't' end that way.
Today, May 7th, is your birthday and of course you are on my mind. Tonight we will gather at the house, the house you shared with your beloved Chad, the house where your grandma lived. We will circle up the wagons around the ones dearest to you: Chadcito, the "old man" and Lippy too. The old man said, "we're not gonna just stand around crying all night are we?" Of course that gave me a good laugh. I'm sure you would have agreed with your dad on that one. "Enough fussing people, have some fun". So at the old man's request, and in honor of you we'll make sure to have a good time and share some laughs. I'll be sure to supply a bottle of white wine for your dad, a riesling b/c we know he prefers it sweet over dry. And we will of course giggle when Chad fires up the old bbq and busts out his little grill timer so he can be sure things are grilled to utter perfection. Chad will of course proudly tell us for the millionth time that he can set that thing to time up to 4 things at once. That timer shtick chad has going has always been good for a laugh hey? And Chad's freshly baked cookies are of course in order. Out of nowhere Chadcito will unveil the fancy shmancy mixer out of it's own custom built appliance cabinet designed especially for this purpose. The magical mixer cabinet devoted solely to the famous home baked cookies is always a crowd pleaser. And of course, there will be no lack of scratching and hugging for Chavez tonight. So you see girl, not to worry we will take care of your boys both tonight and beyond.
On this day, May 7th, 1970 the Beatles released their last single as a group, "The Long & Winding Road". This song marks the end of greatness, the breakup of a revolutionary group in music history. The lyrics speak to love lost but not forgotten. It seemed to resonate with me as a way of honoring you on this day of your birth. I leave these lyrics with you my friend. Love you always ~ Lauren
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
leads me to your door.
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day.
Why leave me standing here?
Let me know the way.
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried,
Anyway you'll never know
The many ways I've tried.
But still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago (ohhh)
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
The Long and Winding Road ~
The Beatles, May 7th, 1970
Sad/Happy 39th Birthday
Every morning I find myself checking this website and reading the latest posts about Lara. It continually surprises me how comforting it is to read what others (who almost aways knew her much better than I) have written. It confirms how unique and amazing she really was.
There is no bringing Lara back, but it's consoling to be reminded that she had such a profound impact on so many people from so many walks of life. People who possess that gift are extremely uncommon, I think. Personally, I've never known anyone else who had it.
Lara is 39 today, if I've got it right. It makes me so sad that none of us will get to see her grew old. She would have done it with remarkable grace, I have no doubt. It would have been an inspiring thing to witness.
Happy Birthday Lara-Karena,
Happy Birthday to you
Sleep well, my astounding friend.
Jon
There is no bringing Lara back, but it's consoling to be reminded that she had such a profound impact on so many people from so many walks of life. People who possess that gift are extremely uncommon, I think. Personally, I've never known anyone else who had it.
Lara is 39 today, if I've got it right. It makes me so sad that none of us will get to see her grew old. She would have done it with remarkable grace, I have no doubt. It would have been an inspiring thing to witness.
Happy Birthday Lara-Karena,
Happy Birthday to you
Sleep well, my astounding friend.
Jon
Oh Very Young
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth
For a short while
And though your dreams may toss
And turn you now.
They will vanish away -
Like your Daddy's best jeans
Denim blue fading up to the sky
And though we want you to last.
Forever we know you never will
And the patches
Make the goodbye harder still.
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
There'll never be a better chance
To change your mind
And if you want this world
To see (a better day)
Will you carry
The words of love with you
Will you ride
The great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last.
Forever you know you never will
And the goodbye
Makes the journey harder still.
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth
For a short while
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time.
I think Lara would have appreciated this song more if it was sung by Jack Black.
Over the past week I have tumbled thoughts of life and death and living and dying through my head. The pain and the tears suffered by those left behind combined with the joy, the love, and the memories of everybody who have had the opportunity to live and love in life with Lara. Just like her message to the world and herself; the outpouring has been infinite, and seems to grow every passing day as we see with just the memories and the stories on this blog and at the memorial service.
I only had a short time to get to know Lara, and during that time I was truly inspired in so many ways; to climb better and harder, to push my conservative fashion envelop, to figure out a better way to swear. I loved her creative use of nick names, the ability to say whatever was on her mind, to stand her ground, to shock and surprise people, to laugh hard, play hard, and love life.
When I try to identify to me what it means to live a full and successful life, it is to leave behind a better world because of the lives you have touched, the love you have shared. I am again truly inspired by the amazing job Lara has done in life. Thank you for being in my life and connecting all the people in your life with mine.
If I ever was in Seattle, I stayed with Chad and Lara. Their doors are always open. In front of the house is a gigantic rosemary bush. This is the sign that a very strong woman lives in this house. Each time I would leave, I would take a little branch to leave in my car. Last Wednesday night as I sat on my computer, feeling really far away from Joe, Chad and Jay wondering if we were going to get a message to them; a leaf uncurled on the plant on my desk. I rarely if ever have actually seen that happen, I know it is goofy but it made me feel as if Lara where right there letting me know I would reach them soon.
I miss you Lara, Happy Birthday!
Michelle Puryear
Leavenworth, Washington
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth
For a short while
And though your dreams may toss
And turn you now.
They will vanish away -
Like your Daddy's best jeans
Denim blue fading up to the sky
And though we want you to last.
Forever we know you never will
And the patches
Make the goodbye harder still.
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
There'll never be a better chance
To change your mind
And if you want this world
To see (a better day)
Will you carry
The words of love with you
Will you ride
The great white bird into heaven
And though you want to last.
Forever you know you never will
And the goodbye
Makes the journey harder still.
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time
You're only dancing on this earth
For a short while
Oh very young
What will you leave us this time.
I think Lara would have appreciated this song more if it was sung by Jack Black.
Over the past week I have tumbled thoughts of life and death and living and dying through my head. The pain and the tears suffered by those left behind combined with the joy, the love, and the memories of everybody who have had the opportunity to live and love in life with Lara. Just like her message to the world and herself; the outpouring has been infinite, and seems to grow every passing day as we see with just the memories and the stories on this blog and at the memorial service.
I only had a short time to get to know Lara, and during that time I was truly inspired in so many ways; to climb better and harder, to push my conservative fashion envelop, to figure out a better way to swear. I loved her creative use of nick names, the ability to say whatever was on her mind, to stand her ground, to shock and surprise people, to laugh hard, play hard, and love life.
When I try to identify to me what it means to live a full and successful life, it is to leave behind a better world because of the lives you have touched, the love you have shared. I am again truly inspired by the amazing job Lara has done in life. Thank you for being in my life and connecting all the people in your life with mine.
If I ever was in Seattle, I stayed with Chad and Lara. Their doors are always open. In front of the house is a gigantic rosemary bush. This is the sign that a very strong woman lives in this house. Each time I would leave, I would take a little branch to leave in my car. Last Wednesday night as I sat on my computer, feeling really far away from Joe, Chad and Jay wondering if we were going to get a message to them; a leaf uncurled on the plant on my desk. I rarely if ever have actually seen that happen, I know it is goofy but it made me feel as if Lara where right there letting me know I would reach them soon.
I miss you Lara, Happy Birthday!
Michelle Puryear
Leavenworth, Washington
Funeral Eulogy by Dave Kalil
I found this funny picture of Lara in the tent when we were in Tibet and it made me smile. Thanks everyone for all of the pictures and stories here.
Here is my eulogy from the service on Saturday:
Lara lived with a sense of urgency. She would often call me up just to tell me how restless she was, how eager she was to get on to the next adventure. And she always gave me a hard time if she thought I was dragging my feet about doing something. She’d beat me up about it--she would say, “look: you had better get going—we are not getting any younger!”
That urgency was always there and it propelled her to go all around the world climbing, skiing, surfing, learning new things, visiting new countries, meeting people and making friends. And, she made a lot of friends. When you look around the room and see the crowd here it’s easy to see how many lives Lara touched. And, it wasn’t her swashbuckling that made her all of these friends, it was her warmth. Lara was a badass and she was tough and brash, but she was also the first person I would turn to if something was wrong and I needed someone to talk to.
Looking at the blog for Lara, there are so many pictures there, mostly of Lara climbing and skiing and having adventures. And, when Courtney and I were looking through our photos there were more of the same—pictures of Lara on mountaintops, Lara skiing, Lara in Tibet. But, most of my memories of Lara aren’t quite as photogenic: walking the dogs in West Seattle, talking on the phone or just so many evenings hanging out, drinking wine with Robert and Lara and Chad at the end of the day. Chad and I were laughing yesterday about the absurd number of times in a row that we ate the exact same meal of grilled chicken and salad.
I talked to Lara on the phone a day or two before she left for Alaska. We talked about her trip, about Chad’s climb in China, the regular topics at hand. Then, sort of out of the blue, she asked me, “Hey—when are we going to do that motorcycle trip from Tibet to Mongolia?” I had been putting her off on this trip for years. And, true to form, I kept on stalling. I said, “We’ll have time to do that. We’ve been talking about it for so long now, I’m sure we’ll make it happen.”
Lara leaves behind a lot of these interrupted plans: for adventures like trips and expeditions, for ongoing conversations and for a life with Chad. Over the past two weeks I’ve realized how many times I think to myself “Oh, I’ll tell Lara about that”. Now, even those little plans are cut off.
When I look around at everyone here, I can imagine the things for all of us that are cut off in the middle by Lara’s death—maybe a conversation about a mountain to climb, or maybe just a plan to catch up soon. I take some comfort in the idea that we probably all share those feelings, that all of those interruptions are the things that connect us today and bring us together to celebrate Lara and to say goodbye to her.
Goodbye, Lara. I love you and I miss you very much.
Dave Kalil
Liza Sheehan on Lara's Memorial Service
Thank you all for today.
I wanted to share a piece written by local poet/writer, Vicki Edmonds that I am reminded of:
Hope falls
like white feathers
when the bird of the soul
flies to god.
Our eyes can't see
the ascent,
but the soft places
made
by your being here
still gather
around us.
Love, peace, and warm embraces to you all – what an incredible loss.
Liza Sheehan
I wanted to share a piece written by local poet/writer, Vicki Edmonds that I am reminded of:
Hope falls
like white feathers
when the bird of the soul
flies to god.
Our eyes can't see
the ascent,
but the soft places
made
by your being here
still gather
around us.
Love, peace, and warm embraces to you all – what an incredible loss.
Liza Sheehan
The World became a better place 5/07/68
Birthday greetings to you Lara. I shall partake of some Knob Creek in your honor tonight.
M.F.
M.F.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Lara loved the critters
Lara loved animals. Well, most animals. She tolerated cats and what she would consider "playing" with a cat I would call "playfully tormenting", at least for the few feline interactions that I witnessed. She loved the Bitenieks family dogs Mishka (old crotchety genius poodle) and Chablis (enthusiastically dopey young happy lovable clumsy mutt). But Lara also had a soft spot for almost all critters from cows and horses to birds and varmits. One day Lara and I were hanging out on Alki walking along the beach when she spied a seagull about 50 yards out in the Puget Sound that appeared to be in distress. No matter that most people consider seagulls to be the equivalent of flying rats that feasted on garbage, it was a creature in need! Being the supportive boyfriend I waded out into the FRIGID waters of Elliott Bay with Lara in an attempt to rescue said bird. We got out until we were up to our armpits and breathing in the short rapid breaths of impending hypothermia but we were still a good 60 feet or so short of the splasing gull. Oh well, I thought to myself as I started to turn around, we tried... then there's Lara, swimming like a fish out in the freezing Sound to grab this struggling sea-bird and drag it back in to shore! Of course it was absolutely freaking out and thrashing to escape her grasp but there is no stopping a determined Lara Karena Bitenieks! One of the local businesses on Beach Drive donated a cardboard box into which we wrestled our "patient" and off to her house just up the hill from the beach. We got the bird into the bathtub at the Bitenieks residence and started the rehab. We weren't sure what the problem was, figuring it might have been ill or had an injury that would heal itself given enought rest. In retrospect I think the thing was probably just old and it was time to go. At any rate, we nursed this bird for over a week until Lara deemed it strong enough to re-enter the wild. Then the big day, back to the Alki beach to return the rehabilitated gull to its natural habitat. We tipped the box at the waters edge and the gull stepped out and...stood there.... "Go" says Lara with some excited anticipation. Nuthin'. "Shooo!" a little more forcefully....bird stares at us blankly. Well, we didn't go to all this effort for an anti-climactic stare-down at the waters edge, we wanted to see our patient triumphantly flying off into the sunset! SHOOOO!!! yells Lara whilst flapping her arms and lunging at the startled bird, and off he went, like a bullet hugging the water and flying for all his might until....crash! splash! Bird down about 50 yards off shore, about exactly where it was to begin with.....splashing around in distress, just like it was a week before...... Lara and I looked at each other in silence....finally she just did a little shrug, grabbed my hand and we continued our walk on the beach that was interupted over a week before.
Mark Fluegel
Mark Fluegel
Lara full of love
I never imagined I would be saying good-bye to my precious friend Lara. We were forever welcoming each other home from our latest travels, eager to hear about new plans and ideas of where to go next. Just a few weeks ago we talked about her and Chad’s plans for spending next winter in Hawaii--I loved the idea of Lara surfing in the sun. I quickly checked to make sure they were not moving there, but just going for an extended visit. No matter where Lara went, I knew she would always come home. Reading about Lara’s adventures from the perspective of her travel companions, I am struck by how humble she was in describing heroic rescues of friends and unknown climbers, of her swift thinking and smart planning. I am in awe by how graceful she downplayed so much of her achievements in life. Lara has been a pillar in my life for so long; it is unfathomable to image life without her.
I met Lara on a rainy Sunday morning in 1992. I rode my bike to a local gym on Capitol Hill to attend a yoga class. I wasn’t really into yoga because I never mastered headstands. I spotted Lara immediately, as she had such a whimsical and sweet glow. After class we talked, I learned she was Latvian, and that she wasn’t too keen on headstands either (actually she probably was, but in classic Lara style she down played her ability). I didn’t know on that rainy morning I would be meeting one of my very closest and dearest friends, one that I would cherish for the rest of my life. She was my first friend who was actually from Seattle, she knew so much about Washington and was always game for adventure. Not a surprise she taught me how to snowboard, took me rock climbing (I was too scared to go more than a few times), we went on late night bike rides, walks around Greenlake, hikes off of i90 and lot’s and lot’s of coffee dates. Of course, there was an ill-fated trip to Mt Rainier for some ‘sister bonding’ time only to be foiled by a camp full of rangers rebuilding the Camp Schurman outhouse. Lara was always coming up with ideas and plans for adventure. She could talk you into anything, like the time she enrolled us in a 6:15 a.m. aerobics class. I tried to convince her it was not good to go from REM sleep to a high impact cardio workout so early in the morning. But the promise of early morning with Lara was too good to pass up. Hikes with Lara were such fun. I remember one that ended up with a full body mineral mud bath and an icy cold rinse in a river. As always, none of this was planned, since anything could happen when you were with Lara. Her energy was endless, always doing double time with a smile on her face.
When I think of Lara I am overwhelmed by her deep loyalty to her friends. She would stand by you and make you feel so smart, loved and important. When I was with her, nothing else seemed to matter. Like so many of her girlfriends, she watched out for me like a mother hen. What an honor to be in her circle of friends. She had the same devotion and love for those two dogs, Greedy and Chavez. After one of her very first hikes up Mt. Rainier I commended her with a “high five” not knowing Greedy would disapprove. I became one of many, who got a Greedy bite. A scar I now am grateful for, as a permanent reminder of Lara. Greedy and Lara were inseparable; they loved each other so much. When Greedy reached the end of life this year I was heartbroken for Lara, I couldn’t imagine the two of them not together. Greedy had gone on more outdoor trips than most people do in a whole lifetime. Lara had raced over to my house with flowers when my cat, Champion died. She and I shared thoughts about how our ‘pets’ were ‘critical family members’ and had long talks about our love for them.
As Lara and I passed from our 20’s into our 30’s we supported each other as we went to grad school, got married and endlessly remodeled our old houses. We would shoot quick emails for sudden coffee breaks at the UW, and then at the Essential Bread Bakery when her office moved to Fremont. We would talk quickly and update each other on our lives, time would fly by and we would be hours late for work. When I tried to read these sweet and funny emails again, my tears pour endlessly.
I was so happy when Lara met Chad. She showed me her ring, with such pleasure. They clearly were soul mates, with a passion for life and a powerful love for each other. She planned a whole wedding in a fraction of the time it takes most, and got our bridesmaids dresses handmade to fit perfectly, with such thought and care. She was absolutely gorgeous on her wedding day. She truly looked like a princess, the strongest most feminine women imaginable.
So many images of Lara go though my head; she gave us so much and asked for so little. Since having my daughter we had begun a new routine; I would meet her at Peet’s in Fremont (clearly one of her favorite meeting places for friends and co-workers) with Xana and she would walk Chavez, who she brought to work due to his ailing health. Lara would gently offer to hold Xana, suggesting I must be tiered as a new mom. The last time Xana saw Lara they stared deeply into each others eyes. I told Lara my daughter was studying her so as to remember her face and voice. Lara joked about how Xana was keeping a good eye on her and watching her every move. We talked about how Lara would teach her to ride a tricycle and take her camping.
I loved seeing my sturdy little baby in Lara’s arms.
I know Lara’s love rubbed off on her.
Lara’s love was infectious, and rubbed off on all of us.
We are all so lucky to have been blessed by Lara’s friendship, kindness and now vivid memories. Lara will always be part of my bond with my daughter; she will be my role model as I raise her and encourage her to explore the world…but facing the world without Lara seems like the hardest thing imaginable.
She will always be our shining star in the sky late at night.
Love, Anthippy Petras
Seattle, WA
I met Lara on a rainy Sunday morning in 1992. I rode my bike to a local gym on Capitol Hill to attend a yoga class. I wasn’t really into yoga because I never mastered headstands. I spotted Lara immediately, as she had such a whimsical and sweet glow. After class we talked, I learned she was Latvian, and that she wasn’t too keen on headstands either (actually she probably was, but in classic Lara style she down played her ability). I didn’t know on that rainy morning I would be meeting one of my very closest and dearest friends, one that I would cherish for the rest of my life. She was my first friend who was actually from Seattle, she knew so much about Washington and was always game for adventure. Not a surprise she taught me how to snowboard, took me rock climbing (I was too scared to go more than a few times), we went on late night bike rides, walks around Greenlake, hikes off of i90 and lot’s and lot’s of coffee dates. Of course, there was an ill-fated trip to Mt Rainier for some ‘sister bonding’ time only to be foiled by a camp full of rangers rebuilding the Camp Schurman outhouse. Lara was always coming up with ideas and plans for adventure. She could talk you into anything, like the time she enrolled us in a 6:15 a.m. aerobics class. I tried to convince her it was not good to go from REM sleep to a high impact cardio workout so early in the morning. But the promise of early morning with Lara was too good to pass up. Hikes with Lara were such fun. I remember one that ended up with a full body mineral mud bath and an icy cold rinse in a river. As always, none of this was planned, since anything could happen when you were with Lara. Her energy was endless, always doing double time with a smile on her face.
When I think of Lara I am overwhelmed by her deep loyalty to her friends. She would stand by you and make you feel so smart, loved and important. When I was with her, nothing else seemed to matter. Like so many of her girlfriends, she watched out for me like a mother hen. What an honor to be in her circle of friends. She had the same devotion and love for those two dogs, Greedy and Chavez. After one of her very first hikes up Mt. Rainier I commended her with a “high five” not knowing Greedy would disapprove. I became one of many, who got a Greedy bite. A scar I now am grateful for, as a permanent reminder of Lara. Greedy and Lara were inseparable; they loved each other so much. When Greedy reached the end of life this year I was heartbroken for Lara, I couldn’t imagine the two of them not together. Greedy had gone on more outdoor trips than most people do in a whole lifetime. Lara had raced over to my house with flowers when my cat, Champion died. She and I shared thoughts about how our ‘pets’ were ‘critical family members’ and had long talks about our love for them.
As Lara and I passed from our 20’s into our 30’s we supported each other as we went to grad school, got married and endlessly remodeled our old houses. We would shoot quick emails for sudden coffee breaks at the UW, and then at the Essential Bread Bakery when her office moved to Fremont. We would talk quickly and update each other on our lives, time would fly by and we would be hours late for work. When I tried to read these sweet and funny emails again, my tears pour endlessly.
I was so happy when Lara met Chad. She showed me her ring, with such pleasure. They clearly were soul mates, with a passion for life and a powerful love for each other. She planned a whole wedding in a fraction of the time it takes most, and got our bridesmaids dresses handmade to fit perfectly, with such thought and care. She was absolutely gorgeous on her wedding day. She truly looked like a princess, the strongest most feminine women imaginable.
So many images of Lara go though my head; she gave us so much and asked for so little. Since having my daughter we had begun a new routine; I would meet her at Peet’s in Fremont (clearly one of her favorite meeting places for friends and co-workers) with Xana and she would walk Chavez, who she brought to work due to his ailing health. Lara would gently offer to hold Xana, suggesting I must be tiered as a new mom. The last time Xana saw Lara they stared deeply into each others eyes. I told Lara my daughter was studying her so as to remember her face and voice. Lara joked about how Xana was keeping a good eye on her and watching her every move. We talked about how Lara would teach her to ride a tricycle and take her camping.
I loved seeing my sturdy little baby in Lara’s arms.
I know Lara’s love rubbed off on her.
Lara’s love was infectious, and rubbed off on all of us.
We are all so lucky to have been blessed by Lara’s friendship, kindness and now vivid memories. Lara will always be part of my bond with my daughter; she will be my role model as I raise her and encourage her to explore the world…but facing the world without Lara seems like the hardest thing imaginable.
She will always be our shining star in the sky late at night.
Love, Anthippy Petras
Seattle, WA
Saturday, May 5, 2007
The "Greedy" Voice
Lara, you were so very dear to me
I am touched by all the stories from friends who are able to reflect the essence of Lara and how she affected peoples lives. I am 20 years older than Lara and we had more of a mother-daughter relationship. I am not a climber, but I am the mother of a climber who long ago realized it was just a waste of time to keep yelling "get down from there"! Some people are just born to climb.
I remember a story Lara told me that says so much about who she was from a very early age. As a fairly young girl growing up in West Seattle she would amuse herself by sneaking out of her parent's house. She would climb out her bedroom window onto a tree growing nearby. She would climb across the top limbs of the tree to the roof of the neighboring house where a girlfriend lived. From the roof of the house she could climb through her girlfriend's window and they would play together until such time as they were "busted" or she was able to complete the fete going back the other direction. That was Lara: climbing; seeking out friends; socializing; and sometimes getting into a little trouble.
I don't think I ever had another friend who regularly performed dog imitations using just facial expressions that were so very funny. By doing these dog imitations and her "Greedy" voice, she somehow convinced me I could communicate with Greedy dog and know her inner thoughts, such as: "Your requests to do dog tricks are humiliating and will be ignored" "Oh hi, it's you. Oops, sorry I tried to bite you" "Don't even think about going hiking without me" "Forget that vegan junk, I'll have the lamb."
We spent many holidays together and traveled on family vacations where Lara got to know our extended family over the years. She charmed them all. We talked on the phone regularly, had family dinners out, and she took me to my first Jackie Chan movie. I sleep every night under a blanket she brought from Nepal and gave to me after she hand stitched my initial in the corner. She was a beautiful young woman whose twinkling eyes and dazzling smile will be missed. Her death is a blow to my heart that has left me trembling and sobbing with grief.
Sally Hyde
I am touched by all the stories from friends who are able to reflect the essence of Lara and how she affected peoples lives. I am 20 years older than Lara and we had more of a mother-daughter relationship. I am not a climber, but I am the mother of a climber who long ago realized it was just a waste of time to keep yelling "get down from there"! Some people are just born to climb.
I remember a story Lara told me that says so much about who she was from a very early age. As a fairly young girl growing up in West Seattle she would amuse herself by sneaking out of her parent's house. She would climb out her bedroom window onto a tree growing nearby. She would climb across the top limbs of the tree to the roof of the neighboring house where a girlfriend lived. From the roof of the house she could climb through her girlfriend's window and they would play together until such time as they were "busted" or she was able to complete the fete going back the other direction. That was Lara: climbing; seeking out friends; socializing; and sometimes getting into a little trouble.
I don't think I ever had another friend who regularly performed dog imitations using just facial expressions that were so very funny. By doing these dog imitations and her "Greedy" voice, she somehow convinced me I could communicate with Greedy dog and know her inner thoughts, such as: "Your requests to do dog tricks are humiliating and will be ignored" "Oh hi, it's you. Oops, sorry I tried to bite you" "Don't even think about going hiking without me" "Forget that vegan junk, I'll have the lamb."
We spent many holidays together and traveled on family vacations where Lara got to know our extended family over the years. She charmed them all. We talked on the phone regularly, had family dinners out, and she took me to my first Jackie Chan movie. I sleep every night under a blanket she brought from Nepal and gave to me after she hand stitched my initial in the corner. She was a beautiful young woman whose twinkling eyes and dazzling smile will be missed. Her death is a blow to my heart that has left me trembling and sobbing with grief.
Sally Hyde
Friday, May 4, 2007
My Courageous Friend
I have been dreading this for over a week now. Since hearing of this accident my thoughts have been of Lara and of her family. But reading these words that others have left I feel compelled to offer some token of remembrance to honor our friend.
The images of her ebb and flow within my memory since it has been so many years already since we worked at the shop. As co-workers we saw each other several times a week and shared the kinds of experiences so often forgotten as part of daily life. But being around her was anything but forgetful. I do recall some pretty lively conversations as she would flip through stacks of hand receipts, fingers flying in the heat of discourse, and those dogs. Those dogs. Occasionally she would try to tiptoe past them when they were asleep for a bathroom break, so they wouldn't follow her and scare the customers. Usually didn't work.
I don't really remember the first time I ever met her but looking back I feel as if she always belonged in the memory of my life somehow. Her engaging smile, her direct way of talking, the sureness of her presence wherever she happened to be were unforgettable traits. Knowing if she needed to be somewhere else she would find a way to be there. Her determination was unparalleled. I recall one of the times I ran into her at Stevens when she was learning to telemark. She was dressed head to toe in snow, hair plastered, frustration showing despite her wide grin. She was obviously having fun but flustered at how long it was taking to master this newest challenge. As I watched her umpteenth eggbeater fall down the slope I had no doubt she would eventually tame those skis, even if she had to beat them into submission. Her courage was admirable.
I do not count myself as lucky as some who have known her so well, our paths diverged several years ago as paths often do and we saw each other less than a handful of times. But living in the same city and having mutual friends I would hear of her exploits from time to time. Never surprised but always amazed.
The last time I saw her was last fall. Looking back I can't help but feel that I was a part of her charmed existence in this life after all. I ran into her, literally, in the stairwell of the building where she worked. I was heading to an appointment on the third floor and because I was running late decided to take the stairs and as I bounded up she was coming out of her offices. There was that instant out-of-context shock then pleasant surprise and then that warm hug of hers that said "Welcome back friend!" We caught up the best we could, friends, family, work, where we were living, what we had been up to. In typical Lara fashion we crammed a few years into ten minutes. She wrote down her contact info for me. Ball in my court. We talked of getting together again with friends, soon. One last hug and I hurried up to my appointment and she to hers.
As I type this I am looking at the note she gave me so many months ago. Strong, steady, clear writing. Numbers I will never call. A name I will never forget. Swift journey LaraB, you will always have a special place in my heart.
All my love and respect,
richb
The images of her ebb and flow within my memory since it has been so many years already since we worked at the shop. As co-workers we saw each other several times a week and shared the kinds of experiences so often forgotten as part of daily life. But being around her was anything but forgetful. I do recall some pretty lively conversations as she would flip through stacks of hand receipts, fingers flying in the heat of discourse, and those dogs. Those dogs. Occasionally she would try to tiptoe past them when they were asleep for a bathroom break, so they wouldn't follow her and scare the customers. Usually didn't work.
I don't really remember the first time I ever met her but looking back I feel as if she always belonged in the memory of my life somehow. Her engaging smile, her direct way of talking, the sureness of her presence wherever she happened to be were unforgettable traits. Knowing if she needed to be somewhere else she would find a way to be there. Her determination was unparalleled. I recall one of the times I ran into her at Stevens when she was learning to telemark. She was dressed head to toe in snow, hair plastered, frustration showing despite her wide grin. She was obviously having fun but flustered at how long it was taking to master this newest challenge. As I watched her umpteenth eggbeater fall down the slope I had no doubt she would eventually tame those skis, even if she had to beat them into submission. Her courage was admirable.
I do not count myself as lucky as some who have known her so well, our paths diverged several years ago as paths often do and we saw each other less than a handful of times. But living in the same city and having mutual friends I would hear of her exploits from time to time. Never surprised but always amazed.
The last time I saw her was last fall. Looking back I can't help but feel that I was a part of her charmed existence in this life after all. I ran into her, literally, in the stairwell of the building where she worked. I was heading to an appointment on the third floor and because I was running late decided to take the stairs and as I bounded up she was coming out of her offices. There was that instant out-of-context shock then pleasant surprise and then that warm hug of hers that said "Welcome back friend!" We caught up the best we could, friends, family, work, where we were living, what we had been up to. In typical Lara fashion we crammed a few years into ten minutes. She wrote down her contact info for me. Ball in my court. We talked of getting together again with friends, soon. One last hug and I hurried up to my appointment and she to hers.
As I type this I am looking at the note she gave me so many months ago. Strong, steady, clear writing. Numbers I will never call. A name I will never forget. Swift journey LaraB, you will always have a special place in my heart.
All my love and respect,
richb
All That Energy
I got the news from Germany, shortly after the accident. My brother Lee, who also knew and loved Lara, called to tell me. Strange that word traveled all the way to Europe before ricocheting back to me in California, but then that says something about Lara and the deep, lasting influence she had on everyone she knew. It’s clear from other peoples’ remembrances here that we all carried Lara with us across time and distance and it’s easy to see how the news must have fanned out in all directions to reach us, to reach me. And then for a time it was wrenching to realize that we knew and Chad didn’t.
Since then, I can’t stop thinking about her. The memories just keep surfacing, like how she once used a power washer to clean the mange off Greedy and Chavez, or the times we went swimming together in Lake Washington during our lunch breaks at Marmot, or the time she stopped by to visit me in Boulder when I was doing a fellowship there. With her usual infectious enthusiasm, she convinced me we should go climb one of the Flatirons. As a half-assed climber at best, I didn’t have a rope or a rack, so we decided to solo it – not the smartest thing I ever did, but definitely one of the best. She would later tell me it was the most fun she’d had climbing in a long time. I knew better than to believe that, but I was flattered all the same.
That evening in Boulder, she told me she was going to marry Chad, and she was as happy as I’d ever seen her. With Lara, whose baseline always seemed just a little higher than everyone else’s, that’s saying something. I remember she was carrying a stack of fat bridal magazines in her pack, which seemed so weirdly out-of-character and yet so perfect. As other people here have mentioned, Lara didn’t see why climbing like the guys should keep her from being a girl. I’d like to raise my daughter with some of that spirit.
As it happens, I had a dream about her just before she left for Alaska. I hadn’t been in touch for a while but that dream served as impetus to email her. I told her that Pati and I were expecting another child, and she told me about her and Chad’s climbing plans. We made tentative plans to meet up in Seattle over Memorial Day weekend. Instead, I’m going to fly up tomorrow for her memorial service, which is just so unspeakably sad.
She always said she was going to die young, and when your friends are climbers, every leave-taking carries that little twinge of dread that this goodbye may be the last. Still, you never really expect it. Especially with Lara. How could all that boundless energy ever come to an end? How is it possible that she’s no longer there? How?
I’ll miss you terribly, LB. I miss you so much already.
Love, Pat
Since then, I can’t stop thinking about her. The memories just keep surfacing, like how she once used a power washer to clean the mange off Greedy and Chavez, or the times we went swimming together in Lake Washington during our lunch breaks at Marmot, or the time she stopped by to visit me in Boulder when I was doing a fellowship there. With her usual infectious enthusiasm, she convinced me we should go climb one of the Flatirons. As a half-assed climber at best, I didn’t have a rope or a rack, so we decided to solo it – not the smartest thing I ever did, but definitely one of the best. She would later tell me it was the most fun she’d had climbing in a long time. I knew better than to believe that, but I was flattered all the same.
That evening in Boulder, she told me she was going to marry Chad, and she was as happy as I’d ever seen her. With Lara, whose baseline always seemed just a little higher than everyone else’s, that’s saying something. I remember she was carrying a stack of fat bridal magazines in her pack, which seemed so weirdly out-of-character and yet so perfect. As other people here have mentioned, Lara didn’t see why climbing like the guys should keep her from being a girl. I’d like to raise my daughter with some of that spirit.
As it happens, I had a dream about her just before she left for Alaska. I hadn’t been in touch for a while but that dream served as impetus to email her. I told her that Pati and I were expecting another child, and she told me about her and Chad’s climbing plans. We made tentative plans to meet up in Seattle over Memorial Day weekend. Instead, I’m going to fly up tomorrow for her memorial service, which is just so unspeakably sad.
She always said she was going to die young, and when your friends are climbers, every leave-taking carries that little twinge of dread that this goodbye may be the last. Still, you never really expect it. Especially with Lara. How could all that boundless energy ever come to an end? How is it possible that she’s no longer there? How?
I’ll miss you terribly, LB. I miss you so much already.
Love, Pat
One more cup of coffee…
That banana video made me laugh; I remember Lara showing it to everyone who walked into her office! I worked closely with Lara for a year and a half, but it was our breaks between working that brought us closer together. Time with Lara always made the day go by faster. Everyday we’d go to Pete’s for coffee, and we’d often workout at Sound Mind and Body or go for a run in the afternoon.
I admired Lara’s femininity. She had style and great taste in clothes! For fun, we’d occasionally run next door for an eyebrow wax. Once at 7 am, we met at Nordstrom’s for the Half Year Sale. After hours of shopping, Lara, admiring the boots, suggested we get back to work before someone noticed we were missing.
Lara and Chad endeared themselves to me forever after a dramatic event during one of those “afternoon runs.” While jogging across 3rd Avenue on Queen Anne, a bicyclist slammed into me causing injury. Lara rode in the ambulance with me and, in true Lara style, she told the ambulance driver the best way to get to the hospital! Chad picked us both up and they took me home with them that night. Though every room (but their bedroom) in the house was being remodeled, Lara insisted that I have their room. I will always remember Lara’s (and Chad’s) immediate reactions of generosity and kindness.
Lara was always trying to set me up with cute climber guys. Two years ago, she invited me to a slide show at Feathered Friends (Mike Gauthier’s). I said “what about him, set me up with him...” But Lara shook her head, smiled, and said “No way, he’s trouble.” Well, I went to the slide show, and out to the Elysian afterwards, and met Mike anyway. Two years later I’m still with “trouble” and, to some degree, Lara was right :)
After leaving the Forest Service lab, I saw less of Lara. When I last saw her, she said, “come by the office, we’ll get a cup of coffee”. I didn’t get that cup of coffee, but I wish I could now. I would thank her for bringing Mike into my life. I would thank her for inspiring me to live my life as I want to, without letting other people (or myself) get in the way of my dreams, the way she lived her life.
-Crystal Raymond
I admired Lara’s femininity. She had style and great taste in clothes! For fun, we’d occasionally run next door for an eyebrow wax. Once at 7 am, we met at Nordstrom’s for the Half Year Sale. After hours of shopping, Lara, admiring the boots, suggested we get back to work before someone noticed we were missing.
Lara and Chad endeared themselves to me forever after a dramatic event during one of those “afternoon runs.” While jogging across 3rd Avenue on Queen Anne, a bicyclist slammed into me causing injury. Lara rode in the ambulance with me and, in true Lara style, she told the ambulance driver the best way to get to the hospital! Chad picked us both up and they took me home with them that night. Though every room (but their bedroom) in the house was being remodeled, Lara insisted that I have their room. I will always remember Lara’s (and Chad’s) immediate reactions of generosity and kindness.
Lara was always trying to set me up with cute climber guys. Two years ago, she invited me to a slide show at Feathered Friends (Mike Gauthier’s). I said “what about him, set me up with him...” But Lara shook her head, smiled, and said “No way, he’s trouble.” Well, I went to the slide show, and out to the Elysian afterwards, and met Mike anyway. Two years later I’m still with “trouble” and, to some degree, Lara was right :)
After leaving the Forest Service lab, I saw less of Lara. When I last saw her, she said, “come by the office, we’ll get a cup of coffee”. I didn’t get that cup of coffee, but I wish I could now. I would thank her for bringing Mike into my life. I would thank her for inspiring me to live my life as I want to, without letting other people (or myself) get in the way of my dreams, the way she lived her life.
-Crystal Raymond
Thursday, May 3, 2007
I crossed paths with you again, but you were already gone.
Hey Lara-
Remember your brief days at the creosote ridden old store on Capitol Hill? I do. I remember vividly the look of shock on your face when I showed a customer how to work a belay device. You thought I was about to get into a shitload of trouble. “You can’t show people how to work those things!” That was a long time ago, in the early 90’s. I recall you were just getting into climbing. I also recall Chad was working there at the same time and he was just getting into climbing. You two were not an item then, yet pursued the heights with equal vigor. I have run into Chad on multiple occasions, once at the base of Mt. Hunter in a very memorable snowball (actually snow shovel loads) battle at which we broke a pole of his tent. Later at trade shows in SLC where he told me he married you. When he said it, he asked if I remembered you. I thought that was funny. You’re a hard one to forget. When he told me that, my first thought was “Excellent! I’ll get to cross paths with Lara again.” Our little mountain community is rather small and incestuous, so I knew I would see you again.
And I did cross paths with you again, but you were already gone. I saw your footprints at the base of Mt. Dickey on Tuesday, but you left on Monday. And Mark told us on Thursday what happened.
Chad- I cannot fathom your loss. I tried to put myself in your position, but I know I can’t. I have spent the past week thinking of you. All deaths are hard, but this one is harder. Peace my friend.
She was the earth
The solid ground supporting me
Now a gaping void
Threatens to swallow me.
She was the fire
A burning spirit of awe and wonder
A source of endless heat
And now I am shivering.
She was the sea
Teeming with the energy of life
Feeding my soul
And now I am hungry.
now She is the dawn
The blossoming glow in the eastern sky.
Good morning sunshine,
It’s so good to see you again.
Dave Allan
La Conner, WA
Remember your brief days at the creosote ridden old store on Capitol Hill? I do. I remember vividly the look of shock on your face when I showed a customer how to work a belay device. You thought I was about to get into a shitload of trouble. “You can’t show people how to work those things!” That was a long time ago, in the early 90’s. I recall you were just getting into climbing. I also recall Chad was working there at the same time and he was just getting into climbing. You two were not an item then, yet pursued the heights with equal vigor. I have run into Chad on multiple occasions, once at the base of Mt. Hunter in a very memorable snowball (actually snow shovel loads) battle at which we broke a pole of his tent. Later at trade shows in SLC where he told me he married you. When he said it, he asked if I remembered you. I thought that was funny. You’re a hard one to forget. When he told me that, my first thought was “Excellent! I’ll get to cross paths with Lara again.” Our little mountain community is rather small and incestuous, so I knew I would see you again.
And I did cross paths with you again, but you were already gone. I saw your footprints at the base of Mt. Dickey on Tuesday, but you left on Monday. And Mark told us on Thursday what happened.
Chad- I cannot fathom your loss. I tried to put myself in your position, but I know I can’t. I have spent the past week thinking of you. All deaths are hard, but this one is harder. Peace my friend.
She was the earth
The solid ground supporting me
Now a gaping void
Threatens to swallow me.
She was the fire
A burning spirit of awe and wonder
A source of endless heat
And now I am shivering.
She was the sea
Teeming with the energy of life
Feeding my soul
And now I am hungry.
now She is the dawn
The blossoming glow in the eastern sky.
Good morning sunshine,
It’s so good to see you again.
Dave Allan
La Conner, WA
Ulysses
Lara,
Forrest told me today that you’re gone.
I have been lost in a fog since.
-- not unlike the warm, surreal fog we skied into that day on Rainier in ’93.
Before you left for Alaska. Before I left for Connecticut –
Oh, the stories that have been floating to the top, pushing 14 years aside.
All in one day.
It’s overwhelming.
And this on the heels of our recent re-connection.
The world is small, after all.
Lara, my two years in San Francisco were defined by the last 5 months with you.
You were the free spirit and I was your student. You and Greedy, of course!
-- speeding between cars with Greedy perched confidently on your back –
You gave me encouragement and companionship.
You showed me that the status quo was safe, and that safe was a closed window looking out.
You helped me break the bonds of place, of things, and I am better for it.
You gave me something invaluable, perhaps without even knowing it: A sense of freedom.
This for you, as you always lived…
From Tennyson’s Ulysses:
…I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breathe were life!
I will miss the life you breathed into all of the world around you.
Douglas Bothner
Baltimore, MD
Forrest told me today that you’re gone.
I have been lost in a fog since.
-- not unlike the warm, surreal fog we skied into that day on Rainier in ’93.
Before you left for Alaska. Before I left for Connecticut –
Oh, the stories that have been floating to the top, pushing 14 years aside.
All in one day.
It’s overwhelming.
And this on the heels of our recent re-connection.
The world is small, after all.
Lara, my two years in San Francisco were defined by the last 5 months with you.
You were the free spirit and I was your student. You and Greedy, of course!
-- speeding between cars with Greedy perched confidently on your back –
You gave me encouragement and companionship.
You showed me that the status quo was safe, and that safe was a closed window looking out.
You helped me break the bonds of place, of things, and I am better for it.
You gave me something invaluable, perhaps without even knowing it: A sense of freedom.
This for you, as you always lived…
From Tennyson’s Ulysses:
…I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breathe were life!
I will miss the life you breathed into all of the world around you.
Douglas Bothner
Baltimore, MD
Remembering Strength and Devotion
Jesse Sykes
May 3rd, Oslo
It has been a number of years since I have spoken to Lara. I met her when I was married to Jim Sykes and it was he that brought her into my life and for that I am forever grateful. I, at the time, was not a very strong nor whole person. I was young , as we all were, and riddled with fears and almost paralyzed by life. I remember being in such awe of Lara because she seemed to possess something I thought I would never have: power, strength, confidence and conviction. Plus she seemed to be fearless. I will always remember the feeling I had when she would walk into the room. I would literally light up inside as I truly adored every fiber of her being: her intensity, her depth, her complexity. And now what I understand to be her devotion. It’s funny how life goes bye yet certain people stay in your heart and in your thoughts and, even though you don’t speak often, it is as if it has been one long continuous conversation, and the love never stops.
May 3rd, Oslo
It has been a number of years since I have spoken to Lara. I met her when I was married to Jim Sykes and it was he that brought her into my life and for that I am forever grateful. I, at the time, was not a very strong nor whole person. I was young , as we all were, and riddled with fears and almost paralyzed by life. I remember being in such awe of Lara because she seemed to possess something I thought I would never have: power, strength, confidence and conviction. Plus she seemed to be fearless. I will always remember the feeling I had when she would walk into the room. I would literally light up inside as I truly adored every fiber of her being: her intensity, her depth, her complexity. And now what I understand to be her devotion. It’s funny how life goes bye yet certain people stay in your heart and in your thoughts and, even though you don’t speak often, it is as if it has been one long continuous conversation, and the love never stops.
Thankfully I grew and changed some since those times, but one realizes through life that there are certain people that were possibly the catalyst to the positive changes that had to happen and I believe she was one of the people that provided that for me. Whenever I thought of Lara it always struck me that it wasn’t always specific memories but more so about her essence - about the deeper things that I got out of knowing her and that she unknowingly gave to me....I suppose *this* gift she gave me was the ability to experience what it feels like to embody strength and recognize it as such. I remember so well *that* strength she had - the way it resonated through her eyes, her smile, her limbs and her voice - which I can still hear in my head as if no time at all has passed.
I loved that she loved her dogs so much - Greedy and Chavez. I always secretly felt a bit honored that her beloved Greedy liked me but would growl at most people! I suppose it comforts me to think that maybe after she slid down that mountain, that the first sound that followed a long silence was the sound of Greedy coming to greet and guide her lost companion...maybe that seems silly to some, but that’s how I would like to think it was for her. She was not alone.
I have a hard time dealing with death, as we all do, and it has been a while since someone that I truly loved, and is a part of me, has died - and someone so in the prime of their life....they always say that we should recognize that old saying "she or he died doing what they loved'....but sometimes that’s a hard one to swallow, as secretly I kind of feel like it would be easier to lose someone that was trapped in a life of misery and doing something that brought them no joy....doing what you love maybe means it’s harder to let go of what you love- LIFE.....but Lara is gone now and has *let go* and now it is us that must do the hard kind of *letting go*.And for those of us that didn’t see her as often as we thought about her, it’s just not that easy to do. So I am writing because, while I try to process the reality of her passing, all I can really think to do is to thank her for showing me something - something really beautiful. I love you Lara, you had such an effect on so many people, and you were the real deal on every level and I feel truly honored to have known you and to have learned from you. And to your husband, whom I’ve never met, and to your family, my heart is with them too, I can’t even begin to imagine what they are going through. Goodnight Lara. I will always love you and I will never stop thinking of you.
Jesse Sykes
Get Busy Moving
I count myself lucky to have once shared with Lara a three hour, donut-and-coffee fueled dash from Tacoma to a class field trip site southeast of Mount Saint Helens. Neither of us wanted to go down the night before with the rest of the class, and we were new graduate students in the same UW lab, so we shot down the freeway the next morning, late. And somewhere around the Nisqually bridge, it became evident that Lara had an answer to the single biggest ogre I was wrestling at the time, which was an answer to the question, “How does someone who thrives on approval function in the absence of clear expectation?” The answer, in a nutshell: Don’t bother with expectation and approval. Get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
I am not particularly a climber of ice and rock. Instead, I walk lots of miles in search of wild places that, through accidents of biogeography and geomorphology, clearly see climate. It is our strange profession to turn elegant, complete processes found in nature into estimates and their surrounding uncertainty. Lara knew that this is all too often how science works. She also knew that the true purpose is to go the other way: to go beyond our hair-raisingly clunky numbers and uncertainties and get at those elegant processes that underlie what we observe and so ineffectively measure. A power law is a mathematical version of the same idea, and it is beautiful. At that point, we were reinforcing each other’s perspectives: grappling with trying to write better and embracing the search for elegance in a field that is prone to studying noisiness – and too often, giving up. Get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
And then there was Lara with advice on adolescent cattledogs. We adopted a 6 month old cattledog / German shepherd cross (big ears, big curiosity, big endurance, big voice, profound need to herd, in 55 lbs of spotted and crafty soul) and within weeks I was at wits end, with a list a yard long of “What Would Jasper Chew.” Lara told me about “Greedy-proofing” during the kitchen remodel, and I learned another lesson, this one in a nearly meditative patience that she seemed so good at. What did it matter if my dog ate everything in sight? He’s a dog. Jasper-proof what little matters, and get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
So, now the cheerful, patient teacher who showed me how to unclip from my imagined obligations, who was my power law compadre, and who rescued me from my rescue dog, cannot offer advice and consolation when I run aground, and like so many others, I am bereft. But chances are, I should get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation. The iterations of this are as obvious as they are endless: Find another line, find another tool, sharpen the focus. If it doesn’t exist, invent it. If it’s in your way, go over, around, or through it.
Lacking the ability to describe the unlimited and infinite ideal, I looked around for the truest characterization of it I could find (apologies to those with two X chromosomes; we all know it’s universal):
“The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.”
-Don Juan Matus, Tales of Power, Castaneda
Lara, you will be missed. I thank you for your generous friendship, your example, and your kind and patient insistence that I get busy moving…..
Jeremy Littell, Seattle, WA
I am not particularly a climber of ice and rock. Instead, I walk lots of miles in search of wild places that, through accidents of biogeography and geomorphology, clearly see climate. It is our strange profession to turn elegant, complete processes found in nature into estimates and their surrounding uncertainty. Lara knew that this is all too often how science works. She also knew that the true purpose is to go the other way: to go beyond our hair-raisingly clunky numbers and uncertainties and get at those elegant processes that underlie what we observe and so ineffectively measure. A power law is a mathematical version of the same idea, and it is beautiful. At that point, we were reinforcing each other’s perspectives: grappling with trying to write better and embracing the search for elegance in a field that is prone to studying noisiness – and too often, giving up. Get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
And then there was Lara with advice on adolescent cattledogs. We adopted a 6 month old cattledog / German shepherd cross (big ears, big curiosity, big endurance, big voice, profound need to herd, in 55 lbs of spotted and crafty soul) and within weeks I was at wits end, with a list a yard long of “What Would Jasper Chew.” Lara told me about “Greedy-proofing” during the kitchen remodel, and I learned another lesson, this one in a nearly meditative patience that she seemed so good at. What did it matter if my dog ate everything in sight? He’s a dog. Jasper-proof what little matters, and get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation.
So, now the cheerful, patient teacher who showed me how to unclip from my imagined obligations, who was my power law compadre, and who rescued me from my rescue dog, cannot offer advice and consolation when I run aground, and like so many others, I am bereft. But chances are, I should get busy moving out from under that kind of limitation. The iterations of this are as obvious as they are endless: Find another line, find another tool, sharpen the focus. If it doesn’t exist, invent it. If it’s in your way, go over, around, or through it.
Lacking the ability to describe the unlimited and infinite ideal, I looked around for the truest characterization of it I could find (apologies to those with two X chromosomes; we all know it’s universal):
“The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.”
-Don Juan Matus, Tales of Power, Castaneda
Lara, you will be missed. I thank you for your generous friendship, your example, and your kind and patient insistence that I get busy moving…..
Jeremy Littell, Seattle, WA
She Wore Great Shoes
I didn’t work extensively with Lara. I never dated her or had beers with her over the years. I never climbed with her or ever rode a bike with her. For that matter, I haven’t seen or said hello to her for 11 years. I did know some of the people in her social network and still stay in touch with a handful of them who talked fondly of her from time to time. Being an alumnus of Feathered Friends and Mount Rainer National Park, I felt more compelled to write and say something in Lara’s memory than to say nothing.
I wish I could remember the exact year, I think 1996. I was a back-country ranger in the Carbon River corner of Mount Rainier NP and Lara was a climbing ranger, Schurman or Muir I remember not. We were both in a week-long advance rope rescue class in Longmire taught by Mike Gauthier; part of our spring training for the park.
It was the first time I had seen or met Lara and she was a stand out in the 20-something crowd that made up the class. Not so much by her can do attitude, or her blond hair, or the skirt she wore, or her quick wit – all of which did contribute though. For me it was her shoes. Everyone in the class wore a pair of stout trail boots or the latest mountaineering boots, but Lara wore city shoes...hip city shoes.
They were great shoes, a cross between Dansko’s, Mary-Jane’s, and Doc Martin’s. She wore them in the classroom and in the field. She even wore them when it was raining and we were prusiking up a rope that hung off the edge of the Nisqually Bridge in Longmire. I kept thinking, why is she wearing those HERE. The shoes seemed out of place, but the thing was, she pulled it off with a flair that I think only Lara could have done.
At the end of the class, there was a party in Longmire and everyone from the class was in attendance. I complemented her on her choice of footwear for the week and we had a laugh. We parted for the evening and for the week with the thought of ‘see you in the park sometime this summer’. I don’t think I ever saw her again.
That memoir of Lara and her wearing those great shoes - and not being held back by them - has been with me all these years and will for many more now. You were an extraordinary woman and a class act Lara.
My heart and sympathy goes to Chad for the loss of his partner in both life and on the mountain; to the Kellogg family for a loss of a loved daughter-in-law; to the Bitenieks family for the loss of the sum of all your parts; and to all of Lara’s friends and colleges who she touched so dearly and so deeply.
Sincerely,
Lance D. Jorg
Richfield Helitack - Fishlake National Forest
Richfield, UT
I wish I could remember the exact year, I think 1996. I was a back-country ranger in the Carbon River corner of Mount Rainier NP and Lara was a climbing ranger, Schurman or Muir I remember not. We were both in a week-long advance rope rescue class in Longmire taught by Mike Gauthier; part of our spring training for the park.
It was the first time I had seen or met Lara and she was a stand out in the 20-something crowd that made up the class. Not so much by her can do attitude, or her blond hair, or the skirt she wore, or her quick wit – all of which did contribute though. For me it was her shoes. Everyone in the class wore a pair of stout trail boots or the latest mountaineering boots, but Lara wore city shoes...hip city shoes.
They were great shoes, a cross between Dansko’s, Mary-Jane’s, and Doc Martin’s. She wore them in the classroom and in the field. She even wore them when it was raining and we were prusiking up a rope that hung off the edge of the Nisqually Bridge in Longmire. I kept thinking, why is she wearing those HERE. The shoes seemed out of place, but the thing was, she pulled it off with a flair that I think only Lara could have done.
At the end of the class, there was a party in Longmire and everyone from the class was in attendance. I complemented her on her choice of footwear for the week and we had a laugh. We parted for the evening and for the week with the thought of ‘see you in the park sometime this summer’. I don’t think I ever saw her again.
That memoir of Lara and her wearing those great shoes - and not being held back by them - has been with me all these years and will for many more now. You were an extraordinary woman and a class act Lara.
My heart and sympathy goes to Chad for the loss of his partner in both life and on the mountain; to the Kellogg family for a loss of a loved daughter-in-law; to the Bitenieks family for the loss of the sum of all your parts; and to all of Lara’s friends and colleges who she touched so dearly and so deeply.
Sincerely,
Lance D. Jorg
Richfield Helitack - Fishlake National Forest
Richfield, UT
Memories from 13th Ave and the Pussycat Ale
I had the good fortune to live with Lara, Steve Hyde, and Steve DeWitte for a couple of years in a house on 13th and Pine in Seattle in the mid 90s.
Lara had boundless energy and a love for all things outdoors that inspired our neighbors to nickname our household “the action hippies.” Of course she was the leader. She had an excellent sense of humor, and put simply was very passionate about everything that she did, period.
One of the funniest stories I remember about those times was Lara constantly bemoaning the fact that all the boys brewed batches of beer and why couldn’t she. So she did. She brewed a batch of Pale Ale that was unveiled at a party one Friday night. Our landlord’s 20-something nephews somehow ended up at the party and they were bona fide beer geeks, speaking of nothing but beer and brewing the entire time. Well, Lara’s beer ended up having a distinct lemon flavor despite having no citrus or lemon added whatsoever. I would call it contaminated but it was really good. The beer geeks kept bugging her on how she made such a delicious beer and she kept saying with a devilish grin and a twinkle in her eye, “sorry guys, secret recipe.”
Lara will be greatly missed.
She was the driving force behind many mid-week overnight camping trips where we would truck out somewhere on the I-90 corridor, hike in, spend the night, wake up, and head straight to work the next morning.
She was at the center of many a gear explosion where the entire first floor of the house would be covered with various, coats, pants, lights, stoves, climbing gear, bicycles, packs, kayaks, cameras, photos, sunscreen, tents, tarps, bivy saks, socks, dogs . . . as she looked for that one missing piece.
She had a penchant for picking up puppies and giving them as gifts to people who really weren’t looking to adopt a dog, but never said no.
She could do the best impression of an older Latvian woman or Latvian man in the world.
She was the best correspondent. Every Christmas she would break out her address book and actually hand write letters, many letters.
She had a passion for life, and lived it to the fullest. I am honored to have known her.
Doug Oh-Keith
Portland, Oregon
Lara had boundless energy and a love for all things outdoors that inspired our neighbors to nickname our household “the action hippies.” Of course she was the leader. She had an excellent sense of humor, and put simply was very passionate about everything that she did, period.
One of the funniest stories I remember about those times was Lara constantly bemoaning the fact that all the boys brewed batches of beer and why couldn’t she. So she did. She brewed a batch of Pale Ale that was unveiled at a party one Friday night. Our landlord’s 20-something nephews somehow ended up at the party and they were bona fide beer geeks, speaking of nothing but beer and brewing the entire time. Well, Lara’s beer ended up having a distinct lemon flavor despite having no citrus or lemon added whatsoever. I would call it contaminated but it was really good. The beer geeks kept bugging her on how she made such a delicious beer and she kept saying with a devilish grin and a twinkle in her eye, “sorry guys, secret recipe.”
Lara will be greatly missed.
She was the driving force behind many mid-week overnight camping trips where we would truck out somewhere on the I-90 corridor, hike in, spend the night, wake up, and head straight to work the next morning.
She was at the center of many a gear explosion where the entire first floor of the house would be covered with various, coats, pants, lights, stoves, climbing gear, bicycles, packs, kayaks, cameras, photos, sunscreen, tents, tarps, bivy saks, socks, dogs . . . as she looked for that one missing piece.
She had a penchant for picking up puppies and giving them as gifts to people who really weren’t looking to adopt a dog, but never said no.
She could do the best impression of an older Latvian woman or Latvian man in the world.
She was the best correspondent. Every Christmas she would break out her address book and actually hand write letters, many letters.
She had a passion for life, and lived it to the fullest. I am honored to have known her.
Doug Oh-Keith
Portland, Oregon
Last Sunday afternoon (4/29) I found myself with what has become of late an exceedingly rare bit of free time. My two young sons were napping as was my wife AnaLee who is 5 months along with our daughter due in August. A rare opportunity to sit in the stillness of the dining room and read the Sunday Times, a seemingly simple thing that I can manage to squeak in about twice a month. I always read the main stories after which I invariably head for the Sports section, but not this time. This time I did something I never do, EVER. Inexplicably I lightly browsed the obituaries, not looking for anyone or anything, just musing over the photos of two local young soldiers tragically killed in Iraq and anonomously feeling for their loved ones. I breezed over names and occasional photos thinking abstractly about their lives and sympathizing with their families and friends. There's city councilman Charlie Chang (Chong? I forget) the pot-hole fixer, and then I froze as my eyes met the grainy photograph of someone I knew. A friend that I loved. It must be a mistake but there's the name under the picture, Lara Karena... I don't know how long I sat motionless on that quiet afternoon staring at that photo, time seemed to stand still. In a sort of stunned shock I wandered downstairs and got on the computer, googled "lara karena kellogg" and sat for an hour reading about the accident and about her exploits of the last decade. I wandered outside and stared at my cell phone until I willed myself to remember a phone number I hadn't dialed in 17 years...long forgotten it just jumped back into my head. I dialed it and heard the voice of Lara's mother Guna on the other end. I could tell from the way she said "hello" that it was real, and that was the moment the horrible truth sunk in. In the days since I've had thoughts of Lara and memories from long ago in my head constantly. At work, at home, in bed trying to sleep but just thinking, thinking, thinking. I'd only seen and/or been in contact with Lara a handful of times since 1990 for no other reason than we had grown into two busy people with different interests and goals but not for any waning of friendly affection for one another. I checked on Lara's exploits and accomplishments from time to time via "google" and knew sooner or later I would elbow-in to her busy life for a moment here and there to catch up and share stories. Even though I hadn't spoken to her in over 8 years I was content just knowing she was out there kicking-ass and doing her Lara thing. I knew we'd cross paths sometime. Now it's sinking in that we won't be able to do that. I'm angry at myself for letting so much time pass. Lara didn't know that I finally found my soul-mate (after many notoriously poor romantic choices that made Lara roll her eyes), she doesn't know I have a family of my own now. She would have been pleased to know that I landed on my feet after some self-induced hard times. I feel guilty that I didn't act sooner so my wife AnaLee could have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful person. I'm amazed at the constant stream of old memories popping into my head, some not thought about for over 20 years. Some are humorous or dramatic events but many are seemingly insignificant little moments that one wouldn't expect to remember so long after the fact, a glance, a walk in the woods, stopping for french fries on the way to Cannon Beach...why would I remember that?
Thank you Tim for setting up this blog. I've read the whole thing several times and left a few myself and it's helping me cope with this crushing grief that I'm feeling. I hope nobody minds me piping in here and there as memories and thoughts about Lara come back to me, for it's really been good therapy for me. I'm heartened to see what wonderful people Lara surrounded herself with these last 20 years, though I would expect nothing less.
Mark Fluegel
fenderdog@aol.com
Thank you Tim for setting up this blog. I've read the whole thing several times and left a few myself and it's helping me cope with this crushing grief that I'm feeling. I hope nobody minds me piping in here and there as memories and thoughts about Lara come back to me, for it's really been good therapy for me. I'm heartened to see what wonderful people Lara surrounded herself with these last 20 years, though I would expect nothing less.
Mark Fluegel
fenderdog@aol.com
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Colin Haley was over yesterday to scan images and, being the early-twenties college student that he is, he knows about Peanut Butter Jelly Time. I didn't until one morning when I dropped by Lara's Freemont office and she just *had* to show me this thing about a dancing banana. So she did.
As I sort of stared, mouth agape, at what I thought was an inane and poorly done animation, Lara burst out laughing. Doubled over laughing. Then she started singing along and dancing the dance herself, right there in the office.
Yesterday Colin and I found the file on the web and had ourselves a good laugh. If you haven't seen it, I hope you enjoy it. It's silly. And I still think it's inane. But it reminds me of Lara, dancing, laughing and lifting my spirits. It gave me one more memory of her, one I just had to share.
Tim Matsui
See:The Original Flash File
As I sort of stared, mouth agape, at what I thought was an inane and poorly done animation, Lara burst out laughing. Doubled over laughing. Then she started singing along and dancing the dance herself, right there in the office.
Yesterday Colin and I found the file on the web and had ourselves a good laugh. If you haven't seen it, I hope you enjoy it. It's silly. And I still think it's inane. But it reminds me of Lara, dancing, laughing and lifting my spirits. It gave me one more memory of her, one I just had to share.
Tim Matsui
See:The Original Flash File
From B. Bruce Bare, Dean and Professor, University of Washington
(Editor's Note: The original email announcement was sent to Lara's professional colleagues. Republished with author's permission.)
Colleagues
It is with great sadness that we report the death of Lara Karena Kellogg on Monday, April 23, 2007. Lara was a consummate athlete and mountain guide, a passion that took her to climb the highest peaks of the world. The tragic accident that took her life occurred while she was on vacation climbing Mt. Wake in Denali National Park and Preserve in Alaska. She died from injuries sustained in a 1,000-foot fall that occurred while rappelling the technical Northeast Ridge.
In her professional life Lara was a promising young scientist working on fire research projects in collaboration with the Fire and Environmental Research Team (FERA) of the US Forest Service PNW Research Station, located in Fremont. Lara received excellence awards for her work from the USFS, NASA, EPA and the Joint Fire Sciences Program.
Lara first came to the College of Forest Resources in 2000 as an undergraduate student research assistant in GIS and remote sensing in forest fires under the supervision of Ernesto Alvarado. Upon her graduation from the UW Department of Geography in 2001, Lara continued working at CFR as a classified staff member supporting cooperative projects in forest fires between the college and the USFS Pacific Wildland Fire Sciences Laboratory (PWFSL). She entered the CFR graduate program in Forest Ecosystems Analysis under the direction of Don McKenzie and Dave Peterson and graduated with a Master of Science degree in 2004 with her thesis on Quantifying the Spatial Variability Associated with Historical Low-Severity Fire Regimes in Eastern Washington, USA. Upon finishing her graduate degree, Lara continued at the college as a professional staff research scientist with the same forest fire research group.
Her death is a great loss to our community. She is survived by family members, including her husband Chad. Our condolences to her colleagues, friends, and family.
--------------
B. Bruce Bare
Dean and Professor
Colleagues
It is with great sadness that we report the death of Lara Karena Kellogg on Monday, April 23, 2007. Lara was a consummate athlete and mountain guide, a passion that took her to climb the highest peaks of the world. The tragic accident that took her life occurred while she was on vacation climbing Mt. Wake in Denali National Park and Preserve in Alaska. She died from injuries sustained in a 1,000-foot fall that occurred while rappelling the technical Northeast Ridge.
In her professional life Lara was a promising young scientist working on fire research projects in collaboration with the Fire and Environmental Research Team (FERA) of the US Forest Service PNW Research Station, located in Fremont. Lara received excellence awards for her work from the USFS, NASA, EPA and the Joint Fire Sciences Program.
Lara first came to the College of Forest Resources in 2000 as an undergraduate student research assistant in GIS and remote sensing in forest fires under the supervision of Ernesto Alvarado. Upon her graduation from the UW Department of Geography in 2001, Lara continued working at CFR as a classified staff member supporting cooperative projects in forest fires between the college and the USFS Pacific Wildland Fire Sciences Laboratory (PWFSL). She entered the CFR graduate program in Forest Ecosystems Analysis under the direction of Don McKenzie and Dave Peterson and graduated with a Master of Science degree in 2004 with her thesis on Quantifying the Spatial Variability Associated with Historical Low-Severity Fire Regimes in Eastern Washington, USA. Upon finishing her graduate degree, Lara continued at the college as a professional staff research scientist with the same forest fire research group.
Her death is a great loss to our community. She is survived by family members, including her husband Chad. Our condolences to her colleagues, friends, and family.
--------------
B. Bruce Bare
Dean and Professor
Thank You for Every Nontrivial Moment
I worked with Lara in the fire lab and we were work buddies – friends but not close friends, members of the same work family. The thing with Lara was, that once you’ve dispensed with the bullshit, as she did, all interactions are distilled, concentrated, nontrivial. She didn’t waste time with niceties for niceties sake and she said what she felt, free of any codependent need to be liked. Consequently, you knew where you stood with Lara, which was quite a gift. Any time spent with Lara meant more, because it was tacit that she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t want to be.
A story: She once enlisted my help with a bugbear of an online mapping application she’d inherited. The code was someone else’s and we poked around and tweaked settings to try to get it up and running on the server Lara had set up at UW. Frustrated, we took a break with plans to come back to it later rather than throw the computer out the window. Leaving a problem unresolved was RIGHT OUT in Lara’s book, and putting it aside wasn’t a very palatable option for her. The next day she came bounding over to me with news that the app was working, crediting me with the accomplishment, which was completely unfounded, but so Lara. “No, no – it was all you – really!” Generous, humble, infectiously upbeat, Lara.
While I despair for the time I took for granted that I’d have to become closer with her – this is a big part of why I am so devastated by her loss – I’m forever grateful for the moments I got to spend in her presence, each of which left me marveling over how effortlessly she embodied the traits to which I’ve always aspired. I’d like to say that I learned from her, but that kind of self-possession you can’t learn – you’ve either got it or you don’t and she had it in spades. Thank you for every nontrivial moment Lara, you live on in my heart.
Paige Eagle, Seattle, WA
A story: She once enlisted my help with a bugbear of an online mapping application she’d inherited. The code was someone else’s and we poked around and tweaked settings to try to get it up and running on the server Lara had set up at UW. Frustrated, we took a break with plans to come back to it later rather than throw the computer out the window. Leaving a problem unresolved was RIGHT OUT in Lara’s book, and putting it aside wasn’t a very palatable option for her. The next day she came bounding over to me with news that the app was working, crediting me with the accomplishment, which was completely unfounded, but so Lara. “No, no – it was all you – really!” Generous, humble, infectiously upbeat, Lara.
While I despair for the time I took for granted that I’d have to become closer with her – this is a big part of why I am so devastated by her loss – I’m forever grateful for the moments I got to spend in her presence, each of which left me marveling over how effortlessly she embodied the traits to which I’ve always aspired. I’d like to say that I learned from her, but that kind of self-possession you can’t learn – you’ve either got it or you don’t and she had it in spades. Thank you for every nontrivial moment Lara, you live on in my heart.
Paige Eagle, Seattle, WA
From Marcie Guthrie
I initially knew Lara from when I worked with her at the Seattle Club, downtown, in 1990 I believe. If I remember correctly, she worked in the daycare part and me at the front desk. We became friends at the gym, but never hung out outside of the gym. I remember her as a very vibrant, fun personality and very easy to get to know and approach, and always rode her bike everywhere. She seemed to always have friends surrounding her, people (including me) just seemed to want to know her.
Then, year's later I saw her at the climbing gym. She has a very recognizable face and smile, so I noticed her right away. She remembered me as well, and I remember being glad that I saw her again and reconnected. I didn't see her much after that as I eventually had my daughter and stopped going to the gym.
When I saw that article online, I did not know her from her married name, so her name did not ring a bell, but when I saw her picture in the newspaper, I knew who she was.
It has been very inspiring and emotional to read all the stories about Lara. I have learned so much about her... her fun-adventurous spirit and love of her friends and family does not surprise me as, even for the little bit I knew her, she was full of all those wonderful qualities.
My heart goes out to Chad and all her friends and family. What wonderful memories you all have... take care.
Marcie Guthrie
Then, year's later I saw her at the climbing gym. She has a very recognizable face and smile, so I noticed her right away. She remembered me as well, and I remember being glad that I saw her again and reconnected. I didn't see her much after that as I eventually had my daughter and stopped going to the gym.
When I saw that article online, I did not know her from her married name, so her name did not ring a bell, but when I saw her picture in the newspaper, I knew who she was.
It has been very inspiring and emotional to read all the stories about Lara. I have learned so much about her... her fun-adventurous spirit and love of her friends and family does not surprise me as, even for the little bit I knew her, she was full of all those wonderful qualities.
My heart goes out to Chad and all her friends and family. What wonderful memories you all have... take care.
Marcie Guthrie
No, I'm not ready
This is my denial mantra. I don’t want Lara to be gone and if I have to admit the truth I want to be able to change it. But I can’t change death. I feel helpless. It is so permanent. Yet I keep seeing Lara everywhere. Ruby, Clyde and I went to the Seattle Art Museum Sculpture Garden yesterday. There is a sculpture called Love and Loss. We sat there a long time and I thought of Chad. Ruby played in the pool of water and we threw coins in to signify our wishes. I can’t tell you mine or it won’t come true. We watched boats and the mountains. The wind was blowing and the clouds were swirling. The rain, I could see it headed our way. As I carried Ruby and Clyde back to the car I thought of Lara.
I remember the first time I saw Lara was at the UW rock about 12 years ago. She was climbing and joking with all the boys. Greedy and Chavez were there. Stevey D rode up on his bike. I was so impressed with the way she could hold so much: beauty, grace, humor, and sex appeal, yet be so strong and so one of the boys. Everyone rotated around her as if she were the sun. She drew everyone’s attention and in turn gave all who looked her way a nod or sweet greeting.
Over the passing years we saw each other at Feathered Friends, dancing up a storm at parties and of course for girl’s nights and weekends. Whenever I saw her I always felt she had time for me. Yes, she lived three lives in one day, of which I am in awe; and she always had time and space for her friends. I never felt rushed. I just felt Lara’s undivided attention, unless of course she was watching the Tour de France…
Most of our adventures together were spent tele skiing, drinking pink wine and looking at magazines, usually with Cece and Merridy. Once I had the opportunity to rock climb with her, well sort of... We went out to climb the new sport route (well not so new now) out past Mailbox Peak. We had a nice time driving and filling the time with conversation about our men Chad and Neil, our experience in grad school and dogs. We finally arrived with marginal beta at how to find the trail. Well, we had a blast bushwhacking. Driving up and down the road asking, “What do you think about that? Does it look like a trail? Let’s check it out.” I felt like I was in the woods where I grew up aimlessly looking for something to discover. Finally, we decided to throw in the towel and head back to the city for coffee.
Then, a car with two young men pulled up. They asked us if we climbed the route. We told our story of the trail search, Lara exchanged phone numbers with them and we each continued on our way. As soon as they were out of sight, Lara turns the car around and says I can't let them find the route first. And back we went. On our way back we decided we could let it go, which was hard for Lara. But she had given them her phone number so they could call us with beta. We would go back another time and climb the route.
Well, we never got to go back and climb. I am so sad that she is gone. I am sad for all that I will miss. I am sad for Chad and all others that loved her. She is irreplaceable. And though I am not ready to admit her passing, she lives on in her example of a generous life. Lara calls upon me to be the best person I can be. To smile through adversity, to love my friends through good and bad times, to love my partner deeply, to keep running and climbing, to find humor in everyday, to keep up on the current fashions, to continue to learn and grow academically and never, never stop drinking coffee and pink wine! Through her example I hope to live my life fuller each day. I know my children will grow up with stories of the legend of Lara. As if she was some fairy queen or superhero, which is not far from the truth.
Blessing to all in this tough time.
Tracy Rekart
I remember the first time I saw Lara was at the UW rock about 12 years ago. She was climbing and joking with all the boys. Greedy and Chavez were there. Stevey D rode up on his bike. I was so impressed with the way she could hold so much: beauty, grace, humor, and sex appeal, yet be so strong and so one of the boys. Everyone rotated around her as if she were the sun. She drew everyone’s attention and in turn gave all who looked her way a nod or sweet greeting.
Over the passing years we saw each other at Feathered Friends, dancing up a storm at parties and of course for girl’s nights and weekends. Whenever I saw her I always felt she had time for me. Yes, she lived three lives in one day, of which I am in awe; and she always had time and space for her friends. I never felt rushed. I just felt Lara’s undivided attention, unless of course she was watching the Tour de France…
Most of our adventures together were spent tele skiing, drinking pink wine and looking at magazines, usually with Cece and Merridy. Once I had the opportunity to rock climb with her, well sort of... We went out to climb the new sport route (well not so new now) out past Mailbox Peak. We had a nice time driving and filling the time with conversation about our men Chad and Neil, our experience in grad school and dogs. We finally arrived with marginal beta at how to find the trail. Well, we had a blast bushwhacking. Driving up and down the road asking, “What do you think about that? Does it look like a trail? Let’s check it out.” I felt like I was in the woods where I grew up aimlessly looking for something to discover. Finally, we decided to throw in the towel and head back to the city for coffee.
Then, a car with two young men pulled up. They asked us if we climbed the route. We told our story of the trail search, Lara exchanged phone numbers with them and we each continued on our way. As soon as they were out of sight, Lara turns the car around and says I can't let them find the route first. And back we went. On our way back we decided we could let it go, which was hard for Lara. But she had given them her phone number so they could call us with beta. We would go back another time and climb the route.
Well, we never got to go back and climb. I am so sad that she is gone. I am sad for all that I will miss. I am sad for Chad and all others that loved her. She is irreplaceable. And though I am not ready to admit her passing, she lives on in her example of a generous life. Lara calls upon me to be the best person I can be. To smile through adversity, to love my friends through good and bad times, to love my partner deeply, to keep running and climbing, to find humor in everyday, to keep up on the current fashions, to continue to learn and grow academically and never, never stop drinking coffee and pink wine! Through her example I hope to live my life fuller each day. I know my children will grow up with stories of the legend of Lara. As if she was some fairy queen or superhero, which is not far from the truth.
Blessing to all in this tough time.
Tracy Rekart
