Thank You for Every Nontrivial Moment

I worked with Lara in the fire lab and we were work buddies – friends but not close friends, members of the same work family. The thing with Lara was, that once you’ve dispensed with the bullshit, as she did, all interactions are distilled, concentrated, nontrivial. She didn’t waste time with niceties for niceties sake and she said what she felt, free of any codependent need to be liked. Consequently, you knew where you stood with Lara, which was quite a gift. Any time spent with Lara meant more, because it was tacit that she wouldn’t be there if she didn’t want to be.

A story: She once enlisted my help with a bugbear of an online mapping application she’d inherited. The code was someone else’s and we poked around and tweaked settings to try to get it up and running on the server Lara had set up at UW. Frustrated, we took a break with plans to come back to it later rather than throw the computer out the window. Leaving a problem unresolved was RIGHT OUT in Lara’s book, and putting it aside wasn’t a very palatable option for her. The next day she came bounding over to me with news that the app was working, crediting me with the accomplishment, which was completely unfounded, but so Lara. “No, no – it was all you – really!” Generous, humble, infectiously upbeat, Lara.

While I despair for the time I took for granted that I’d have to become closer with her – this is a big part of why I am so devastated by her loss – I’m forever grateful for the moments I got to spend in her presence, each of which left me marveling over how effortlessly she embodied the traits to which I’ve always aspired. I’d like to say that I learned from her, but that kind of self-possession you can’t learn – you’ve either got it or you don’t and she had it in spades. Thank you for every nontrivial moment Lara, you live on in my heart.

Paige Eagle, Seattle, WA