Lara's elegant solutions

Lara was always very smart. From the moment I met her she was always perceptive, responsive, and challenging mentally. When I met Lara she was 14 and I was 18. That put us about equal in terms of poise and maturity, but I have no doubt that she was already smarter than I was. Many people have left posts than mention Lara's incredible intellect and her knack for innovative and elegant solutions to problems in her work, (forest fire research) and her hobby (mountain climbing). I don't know much about either of those things, but I remember that she always approached every problem in a smart, innovative way. In the early/mid 1980's when we were together we went to A LOT of concerts. Probably about 3 or 4 every month, on average. There were several good reasons for this: A) We had lots of free time and very little expenses, B) There were lots of bands touring then that we wanted to see, Tom Petty, ZZ Top, Aerosmith, Pat Methany, Moody Blues, Eric Clapton, Clash, Scorpions, Greatful Dead, Kinks, etc. and C) the average price for a ticket to a big headlining major act (like Tom Petty for example) was about $15 back then...so we saw EVERYTHING even halfway decent that came through town. Back in those great old glory days of concert-going there was a common thing called "Festival Seating". This basically meant that you bought a ticket to get in the building, and then it was up to you to get there early enough to grab a decent seat or duke it out on the open floor in front of the stage. Our present litigious society won't allow for this wonderful experience anymore and I feel for you young'uns that never got to partake of it. As previously stated Lara and I went to many many concerts and almost all of them were festival seating. It'll be no surprise to most of you that Lara wanted to be front and center at all of these concerts. For a while we either got to the show very early and staked our claim right in front of the stage, or we got there only a little early and duked it out with the crowd to muscle our way towards the front, which was always quite brutal. One day we were heading into the Coliseum (now Key Arena) a bit late for a show (Moody Blues, Nov. 20, 1983) and it was already packed on the floor. Lara wanted to be up front (as usual) but you couldn't just barge through people ahead of you that had established their "space" without ruffling some feathers. We were way back about 2/3 from the stage wondering what to do when suddenly Lara grabbed my hand and said "follow me". She then plunged into the crowd almost directly toward the side of the room. "Excuse me" she'd say with her oh-so-charming smile and cutie-pie face to the people she was cutting in front of whilst dragging me behind by the hand. Nobody minded because she was headed to the side and not forward to the stage. As soon as she got all the way to one side of the floor she'd turn around and head back accross, this time angling ever-so-slightly towards the stage. Back accross the crowded floor, 4 dozen smiling "excuse me's" and we're on the opposite side of the floor, but now 50 feet closer to the stage. We repeated this subtle zig-zag accross the crowd about 7 or 8 times until we were front and center without anyone realizing (until too late) that we were cutting in front of them. Brilliant! Simple. Elegant. She got what she wanted, without pissing anyone off, and it was easy. We repeated this blue-print at about 15 concerts afterwards and it never failed, we were front and center, two feet in front of the stage every time regardless of when we arrived. That first show in which we used Lara's new technique, the Moody Blues, had a little-known guitarist named "Stevie Ray Vaughan" opening, and thanks to Lara I was close enough to be able to touch his guitar pedals if I so desired... The girl was irrepressible, she was bold, savvy, charismatic, innovative, funny, smart, warm, energetic, and somehow blunt and diplomatic at the same time. She had style. And a lot of "moxie"... I just miss her so much, I don't think I'll ever get used to it. She visited me in a dream last night, maybe her way of saying goodbye. Goodbye Lara, thank you so much for everything...

"Doggie" tales

During her excellent eulogy at the memorial service Lara's childhood friend Julie mentioned something I hadn't thought about for a long time. What she said made me chuckle a moment incongruously as tears were streaming down my cheeks. She briefly touched on young Lara's obsession with "Doggie". I never met Doggie when he was 3-dimensional. The Doggie I knew was a faded, gray, well worn and frayed piece of thin cloth with a button sewn on it. That was his remaining eye. Apparently Lara had had this (once) stuffed creature since she was a baby or toddler and I don't think she EVER intended to part with it. She could bear to leave Doggie home for a brief excursion like a concert or movie, but if you were going to go any real distance Doggie HAD to come along. Occasionally Lara's Mum would kidnap Doggie long enough to throw the mangy fabric in the washing machine which would put Lara into an anxiety attack ala Linus Van Pelt minus his blanket. In July of '83 Lara and I went on an epic low-budget 3 week roadtrip to California. We rocketed non-stop down I-5 which took 22 hours and left me with a horrific sunburn on my left arm. (no A/C) The plan was to do the L.A./Disneyland/beach thing for a while and then a leisurely drive up the coast of California and Oregon for two weeks. Everything was going fine as we pulled into San Francisco on our way back north. We checked into a cheap-ish motel near Lombard Street and got rested up for the next day of sight seeing. We hit the town the way teenagers with little cash and lots of time do. A lot of looking, not much spending, but it didn't matter, we were having a blast checking out used record stores and junk shops full of curiosities. After hours out and about in the city we returned to find that the maids had cleaned the room. Hmmm....something is not right.... Oh my GOD! Doggie had been left in the bed! Where was he?? In a flash Lara tore the bed clothes off and threw them around in a futile attempt to dislodge Doggie. She fell to the floor, looking under the bed, the nightstand and dresser...no Doggie. The Panic was setting in. As Lara sprinted off to the Manager's office I was already pondering how on Earth we were going to be able to explain what we were looking for? How could we convey the urgency its return? Added to our problem was the fact that our Motel was owned by Chinese that knew just enough English to navigate normal motel business and no more. Even if we could get the staff to understand our crisis how are they going to find this roughly 5 inch square piece of threadbare material amongst 6 industrial size washers crammed with 1000's of square feet of sheets, towels, pillowcases and such? Well, of course they couldn't, and they said so. Not good enough for Lara, she demanded to be taken to the Laundry room. The Manager wouldn't allow it but went back for another look (I'm sure he just thought we were insane by now). 5 minutes later "so sorry". That did it, Lara just barged right past him and started tearing through the bins of laundry like the Tasmanian Devil, and I dutifully followed though I was certain that Doggie would never be seen again. The motel mangager was protesting loudly for a moment but suddenly he stopped and stared at us with his hands on his hips, watching Lara plow through the endless whites completely absorbed in the rescue attempt. It was clear. Lara was not leaving without Doggie. Not if she had to spend a week in that laundry room. The manager could see it. He said something in Chinese over his shoulder and soon our search was joined by the whole motel staff. 30 minutes later an older Chinese woman approached us holding a mangy rag of limp thin cloth. She must have wondered at the crying girl jumping for joy over the return of this....thing. We grabbed our stuff, paid our bill and got out of there and they just stared at us the whole time, completely baffeled. Lara loved that Doggie, and if she loved you, she would never, ever give up on you.

The World became a better place 5/07/68

Birthday greetings to you Lara. I shall partake of some Knob Creek in your honor tonight.
M.F.

Lara loved the critters

Lara loved animals. Well, most animals. She tolerated cats and what she would consider "playing" with a cat I would call "playfully tormenting", at least for the few feline interactions that I witnessed. She loved the Bitenieks family dogs Mishka (old crotchety genius poodle) and Chablis (enthusiastically dopey young happy lovable clumsy mutt). But Lara also had a soft spot for almost all critters from cows and horses to birds and varmits. One day Lara and I were hanging out on Alki walking along the beach when she spied a seagull about 50 yards out in the Puget Sound that appeared to be in distress. No matter that most people consider seagulls to be the equivalent of flying rats that feasted on garbage, it was a creature in need! Being the supportive boyfriend I waded out into the FRIGID waters of Elliott Bay with Lara in an attempt to rescue said bird. We got out until we were up to our armpits and breathing in the short rapid breaths of impending hypothermia but we were still a good 60 feet or so short of the splasing gull. Oh well, I thought to myself as I started to turn around, we tried... then there's Lara, swimming like a fish out in the freezing Sound to grab this struggling sea-bird and drag it back in to shore! Of course it was absolutely freaking out and thrashing to escape her grasp but there is no stopping a determined Lara Karena Bitenieks! One of the local businesses on Beach Drive donated a cardboard box into which we wrestled our "patient" and off to her house just up the hill from the beach. We got the bird into the bathtub at the Bitenieks residence and started the rehab. We weren't sure what the problem was, figuring it might have been ill or had an injury that would heal itself given enought rest. In retrospect I think the thing was probably just old and it was time to go. At any rate, we nursed this bird for over a week until Lara deemed it strong enough to re-enter the wild. Then the big day, back to the Alki beach to return the rehabilitated gull to its natural habitat. We tipped the box at the waters edge and the gull stepped out and...stood there.... "Go" says Lara with some excited anticipation. Nuthin'. "Shooo!" a little more forcefully....bird stares at us blankly. Well, we didn't go to all this effort for an anti-climactic stare-down at the waters edge, we wanted to see our patient triumphantly flying off into the sunset! SHOOOO!!! yells Lara whilst flapping her arms and lunging at the startled bird, and off he went, like a bullet hugging the water and flying for all his might until....crash! splash! Bird down about 50 yards off shore, about exactly where it was to begin with.....splashing around in distress, just like it was a week before...... Lara and I looked at each other in silence....finally she just did a little shrug, grabbed my hand and we continued our walk on the beach that was interupted over a week before.
Mark Fluegel

Last Sunday afternoon (4/29) I found myself with what has become of late an exceedingly rare bit of free time. My two young sons were napping as was my wife AnaLee who is 5 months along with our daughter due in August. A rare opportunity to sit in the stillness of the dining room and read the Sunday Times, a seemingly simple thing that I can manage to squeak in about twice a month. I always read the main stories after which I invariably head for the Sports section, but not this time. This time I did something I never do, EVER. Inexplicably I lightly browsed the obituaries, not looking for anyone or anything, just musing over the photos of two local young soldiers tragically killed in Iraq and anonomously feeling for their loved ones. I breezed over names and occasional photos thinking abstractly about their lives and sympathizing with their families and friends. There's city councilman Charlie Chang (Chong? I forget) the pot-hole fixer, and then I froze as my eyes met the grainy photograph of someone I knew. A friend that I loved. It must be a mistake but there's the name under the picture, Lara Karena... I don't know how long I sat motionless on that quiet afternoon staring at that photo, time seemed to stand still. In a sort of stunned shock I wandered downstairs and got on the computer, googled "lara karena kellogg" and sat for an hour reading about the accident and about her exploits of the last decade. I wandered outside and stared at my cell phone until I willed myself to remember a phone number I hadn't dialed in 17 years...long forgotten it just jumped back into my head. I dialed it and heard the voice of Lara's mother Guna on the other end. I could tell from the way she said "hello" that it was real, and that was the moment the horrible truth sunk in. In the days since I've had thoughts of Lara and memories from long ago in my head constantly. At work, at home, in bed trying to sleep but just thinking, thinking, thinking. I'd only seen and/or been in contact with Lara a handful of times since 1990 for no other reason than we had grown into two busy people with different interests and goals but not for any waning of friendly affection for one another. I checked on Lara's exploits and accomplishments from time to time via "google" and knew sooner or later I would elbow-in to her busy life for a moment here and there to catch up and share stories. Even though I hadn't spoken to her in over 8 years I was content just knowing she was out there kicking-ass and doing her Lara thing. I knew we'd cross paths sometime. Now it's sinking in that we won't be able to do that. I'm angry at myself for letting so much time pass. Lara didn't know that I finally found my soul-mate (after many notoriously poor romantic choices that made Lara roll her eyes), she doesn't know I have a family of my own now. She would have been pleased to know that I landed on my feet after some self-induced hard times. I feel guilty that I didn't act sooner so my wife AnaLee could have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful person. I'm amazed at the constant stream of old memories popping into my head, some not thought about for over 20 years. Some are humorous or dramatic events but many are seemingly insignificant little moments that one wouldn't expect to remember so long after the fact, a glance, a walk in the woods, stopping for french fries on the way to Cannon Beach...why would I remember that?
Thank you Tim for setting up this blog. I've read the whole thing several times and left a few myself and it's helping me cope with this crushing grief that I'm feeling. I hope nobody minds me piping in here and there as memories and thoughts about Lara come back to me, for it's really been good therapy for me. I'm heartened to see what wonderful people Lara surrounded herself with these last 20 years, though I would expect nothing less.
Mark Fluegel
fenderdog@aol.com

More today than yesterday...

I can't believe that 24 years later I was able to dig up that CM lift ticket that my friends in the ticket office helped me arrange to surprise Lara. It'll take a bit longer to find the box of photos. 7 moves and 4 girlfriends later (now a wife) pictures of ex-girlfriends tend to get buried. Lara used to sign cards and notes to me with the phrase "More today than yesterday, less than I will tomorrow"... I thought she'd made that up not realizing it was from an old song but it sure made my heart melt. What an adorable girl. See you again someday Lara, love, Mark Fluegel

Unforgettable Lara

It's been cathartic for me to read how much Lara touched peoples lives in so many ways. I've gotten a glimpse of her life of the last 15 years that I didn't really know much about. I first met Lara while waiting in line for a Who concert in October 1982. Even then she was a mix of strength and shyness, toughness and femininty, little kid and old soul. I worked at Crystal Mountain that winter as a lift-operater and soon the walls of every lift-shack were festooned with the name "Lara Karena". I remember being able to arrange for the code on the ski tickets to say "Lara" one day when I took her skiing (which she could barely do back then) which scored me a lot of points! We dated for 2 years enjoying road trips and concerts, playing with her dogs (Mishka and Chablis), hanging out downtown, and many hours in her parents living room watching MTV or playing Atari. We remained close friends for several more years until our life paths diverged in the late 1980s. It's so funny to me how she came to love the outdoor/mountain lifestyle later in life because when I knew her she was an absolute city-person and was even nervous about car-camping, yet she was not concerned with hanging out in downtown Seattle at 2 AM when she was 16... I last spoke with Lara in 1998 and over a Latte at Pikes Market she gave me a condensed briefing on her jam-packed life of mountain biking, snowboarding, climbing, school and work that made it clear to me that I would never have been able to keep up with her. She was just the most dynamic person imaginable. I'm trying to fight the saddness that envelopes me now by reminding myself that she lived her life to the fullest every day and experienced more than most people would in 3 lifetimes. It helps to see and hear how much she was loved and respected by so many. Lara was my first girlfriend and my first Love and I will never forget her. I love you Lara. Mark Fluegel fenderdog@aol.com