Making an Instant Impact

In 1996 some friends and I climbed Liberty Ridge on Mt. Rainier. Our descent route took us through Camp Sherman where we ran into a group of climbers (2 guys and a lady) on their way to do a snowboard descent of Rainier. They congratulated us heartily on our climb and told us excitedly of their plans. I was very impressed by the energy and fun filled spirit of these wonderful people. We brewed up and chatted with them for about an hour. It took me quite a while to notice that they were climbing rangers- I think I usually expect serious expressions and smokey the bear hats- not the enthusiasm and joy they obviously had for being in the high country. We wished them good luck and went on our way home.

I thought of them often over the years- of their joy and their love for the mountains- wishing we had at least exchanged phone numbers. Some people you meet make an instant impact on you, as they did to me.

A week ago I ran into one of my partners from the Liberty Ridge trip. I said “ do you remember those rangers we ran into on the way down, weren’t they some awesome people”? A shadow came over my friends face. “Yes” he replied “two of them were Mike Gauthier and Lara Kellogg”. I had heard of the accident but had no idea she was the beauty with the golden hair and huge smile that we had met that day long ago.

Though I never knew Lara personally- she made an impact on me that I shall never forget. My heart goes out to her friends and family who will miss such a radiant soul.

Media Links Updated

I changed servers for my website causing the media links on this site to go down. I have fixed this and once again you can view the first night rememberance, the funeral, and the memorial slide show. These are linked at right, in the "Image Galleries / Highlights" box.

The multimedia was built using an older version of Soundslides. Some platforms have trouble playing this. Allowing the media to load completely before playing may help but if not, my apologies.

Thanks,
tim

Why this lethargy?
They could hardly wake me up.
Spring rain pattering.

Lessons learned, lessons lost

Lara dear, it’s taken me an entire year to write.  As I know you would approve, some Knob Creek has made this post all the more possible.  For a girl who doesn’t invest much in heros, Lara you were/are my true heroine.  I admire you immensely.  I think of you daily, and you are so sorely missed.  I have many regrets and only hope you have already forgiven me.  I love you Lara, more than you knew in this life, but I trust you know now.

xo Jen

Lead By Example

A year ago, Mr. Ma, the man who usually helped us with our horses, was away at Mt. Everest when Chad, Joe and I arrived in Rilong, China.  We were disappointed not to see him.  So, it was with excitement that I pulled on my boots and exited the tent after hearing Joe announce his arrival at base camp.  Chad and Joe were examining a note he bore.  The note did not convey the full gravity of the situation.  Chad and Joe headed back to Rilong and I spent the rest of the day and night waiting for Joe to return, worrying and hoping for the best.  As morning turned to noon the next day, I finally heard Joe approach.  He tumbled into my arms at the entrance of the tent and I held him as he sobbed and broke the terrible news.  

My feelings for Lara are complicated.  Prior to writing, I had yet to cry for her passing, perhaps locking away the hurt or denying my grief.  But tears well in my eyes now as I think about her and try to put my feelings into words.  When I first met Chad he was a guide for Mountain Madness and I was a client on a 6 day mountaineering course.  We teased and prodded him, trying to get him to open up and share his life as a climber.  Of course, we wanted to know about the woman in his life.  He admitted to a relationship, but would say nothing more, leaving us to imagine the superwoman, or, more likely, if she even existed!  It was only later, after convincing him to take me on a few more climbs, that I met Lara.  I can still see the concern in her eyes and on her face as he drove away with such a novice.  Our relationship developed slowly, through dinners at their house, climbs, hikes, and many nights walking the dogs.  Chad and Lara came to my wedding, Chad reluctant in his suit and Lara looking beautiful and graceful.  As you would expect, she took charge and was a great help to Jen.  It seemed when you needed her most, bam, there she was propping you up, encouraging you to try harder and helping you reach out for your dreams. 

Our personalities are different in many ways and in the past I have fought Lara’s eternal optimism, being such the pessimist myself.  As I look back now and look down at my feet to the path I am on currently, I see that I have become more like her, more willing to throw caution to the wind and cast off the sails.  Lara’s spirit is so amazingly special.  I admire you fiercely Lara, and I continue to look to your example as I walk on, certain our paths will cross again.

-Jay Janousek

A Year of Reminders, A Lifetime of Memories

A year ago today- April 15- was the last time I saw Lara. After she spent the night at our house, we had breakfast together, then Lisa and I accompanied her and Jed to the airfield in town to see them off on their flight to the mountains. We helped them pull their bags to the tarmac and then there were some last minute loose ends to tie up before departing. Lisa and I are not big on long goodbyes, so there, bathed in the morning sun streaming through the windows of Talkeetna Air Taxi’s log office, we said farewell. Lara hugged me so hard it compressed my rib cage. I knew she was apprehensive, but we had talked together all winter about her dreams and fears for this trip; I knew her well enough as a friend and a climber that I was confident that her mind would calm once in the mountains she loved, away from her busy life and all the distractions. As we drove out of the parking lot and on toward our day, Lisa turned to me and said, with a nervous laugh concealing her concern, “Gosh…Lara hugged me so tightly, it was like she was never going to see me again…”.

The past year has featured continuous reminders of the hole Lara’s passing has left in my life, as I know so many others have similarly experienced. For many months, countless places I went were places where “my last time here was with Lara”. So many times I heard a joke, did something fun, or learned some interesting fact where my initial instinct was that I wanted to call her and tell her about it, only to remember solemnly a half second later that this is simply no longer possible.

I keep returning in my mind to that final hug and the look on her face as we parted ways- she was, as always, as excited as a child at Christmas for the adventures that awaited her. But also, I sensed in her eyes and her expression a sort of resignation, almost sadness, like something was out of sorts and which she knew she was powerless to change. I have spent much of the past year wondering if Lara intuitively, if not consciously, knew that she was near the edge, silently waiting for someone to pull her back. I sensed that she secretly hoped I would provide her a logical reason to go do something else. Only too late did I recognize I had suppressed my own intuition’s urge to ask more questions. Regardless of whether the outcome here could have been averted, I remain convinced that even a few words can matter deeply. I will never make this mistake again.

Throughout my life I will think of her often- all that she might have been had she grown old, and all that she was in just 39 short years. She was perhaps the most inspirational and supportive friend I have had, and I have known few persons with so many varied and creative talents. I would be surprised to meet another person like her in my lifetime.

Her memory, like the mountains and wild places she loved to explore, remains timeless and beautiful.

-Mark Westman